CopyCat | Bucky Barnes

39

**WARNING**

DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO DIE FROM THE FEELS

"We all are living in a dream."

               - Dream, Imagine Dragons

"Are you sure about this?" Bucky questions me.

I take my eyes off the road for a moment to look him in the eyes. "Positive." I reach over and lightly squeeze his hand.

"I know you can control it." My eyes darted over to his arm. He's nervous, but even he knows he has control.

It's been a long year. I haven't been back to the avengers compound. I haven't spoken to Steve in over a year. I'm just not sure what I would say to him. In the past year we've gotten so much done. Bucky has made so much progress.

He even agreed to try and remember Steve. He doesn't remember much of him, but he's remembering more every day. Of course I could just give him the memories, but what would that accomplish? He needs to be able to push back the mind control like I did. It's a painful process but it's for the best.

I keep one hand on the steering wheel and reach in the back seat with the other. I grab the notebook off the seat and toss it into Bucky's lap.

"Here. You haven't written anything today." My hand returns to the wheel and I keep my eyes forward.

"What's the last thing you told Steve before you left for the 107th?" I ask him.

His forehead creases and he closes his eyes tight. I can tell he's trying, but he needs to push through that wall of pain.

"You're not focusing hard enough." I comment.

"I'm trying..." Bucky whines.

"Try harder." I say forcefully.

He groans but keeps focusing. "I uh...... I told him..... He was a punk?"

"Yep." I smile. I see him with a small smile on his face out of the corner of my eye. He opened the notebook and began writing down everything he could remember.

I kept driving and he kept writing till it had gotten dark out. I started to feel tired but the sun was already starting to peek through the mountains.

Bucky was sleeping, and ever so slightly snoring. It was kinda cute though. My sleeping soldier.

+

During the night Bucky became extremely restless. Of course he had been having another nightmare. They seemed to be a regular occurrence recently. This usually led to him hitting things with his arm while sleeping.

It only took a couple of hits for me to realize what I needed to do. I'd just slip myself into his dream and redirect it to a more peaceful place.

For the most part he dreamed about the past horrors of Hydra. There were bits and pieces of memories, his worst fears.

I started to keep track awhile back, he's killed me over two dozen times...

But, I never let him know I was in his head. He'd be to ashamed of what he'd been thinking. The sun soon came up and Bucky had woken up, none the wiser of my presence in his mind.

We were coming closer and closer to our meet up spot. I should be able to hear their thoughts soon. There were no trees, just endless meadows and hills.

Flowers, flowers, flowers! So pretty! Does daddy like flowers? I bet he does!

I could finally hear Sarah's thoughts, she was so sweet. It almost made me question if she was really mine. But her bright green eyes were an uncanny match to mine. I smiled and speed up slightly.