CopyCat | Bucky Barnes

9

"It's who we are. Doesn't matter if we've gone too far."

               - Who We Are, Imagine Dragons

Seventy six days. That's how long i've been here. Same number of times I went through my shock induced memory recovery therapy. Everyday is the same.

I get hooked up to the machine, I get some new memories, sometimes more than one. They aren't pleasant to get either. Hydra must've rigged my brain so I wouldn't try and recover my memories, with every memory comes a very painful headache and some other memory of getting tortured.

Today's memory was of Steve Bucky and I. It was the night before he had left for war, we we're standing in a rather large crowd listening to Howard Stark babbling about the future and his soon to be flying car.

His time frame was way off, seventy years later and the closest he ever got to his flying car was his son flying around the city in a metal suit. I'd choose to go back to the 1940's over this place anyday. I had Bucky then.

I finished writing about my newest memory and closed my journal. I reached over to my bedside table and opened the drawer. Since arriving, I've remembered a lot more. I filled up seven journals with everything I remember, just in case something happens and my brain gets fried again.

Most of my memories had something to do with the war or my time with Hydra. My favorites were the ones of Bucky and I. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing, he could always make me smile. Even when Steve and I were feeling down about our parents he wouldn't leave us alone, I'm glad he didn't too.

It was always the three of us, inseparable. At least we thought so, the war changed all of that. When Steve wouldn't stop trying to get to the battlefield with Bucky there was no way I was staying behind.

Being a woman in that time I couldn't just enlist in the army, so shortly after Steve became a super soldier I revealed my powers to the government. I could mimic Steve's powers and gave them a really good radar with my telepathy.

I can still see so clearly the looks of excitement on Howard's face when I could read his thoughts. He looked like a child on Christmas morning. I was trained quickly in hand to hand combat even though we weren't allowed in battle yet.

Howard had even made Steve and I special weapons made from the strongest metal on earth. He made Steve a shield and for me he made a double sided spear, much like the one I used with Hydra, but it wasn't as indestructible.

After Bucky died I sort of shut down. Steve was hell bent on taking down Hydra, but I couldn't wrap my mind around losing Bucky. I left the battle and returned home, only for Peggy to tell me that my idiot brother went and got himself killed as well.

I remember sitting alone back in New York, ready to put a bullet in my mouth and be reunited with my brother and the love of my life. I would've gone through with it if Howard hadn't showed up and talked me out of it.

I probably would've been better off dead since the next time I stepped out of my apartment I was kidnapped by Hydra.

I raised my arms in front of me and examined my body. I had scars everywhere, huge bruises where I was shocked everyday, and long whip marks down my back. I was careful to never let anyone see them, especially Steve. Hydra was my past, what's the point in bringing it up and reliving it.

Sam was rarely around, Steve had him running around the globe chasing leads on Bucky's whereabouts. I could tell that Steve was at his tipping point with me getting my memories back. I already remember more than enough and any day now he was gonna make me stop.

I do want to stop, but I need him to ask me. That way I can negotiate with him into letting me look for Bucky with Sam. I had a list of priorities and Bucky was at the top. Second was killing as many Hydra agents that still existed.I wanted revenge for what they did. I lost over seventy years of my life because of them. I almost killed my own brother for them. I won't stop until every last one of them is dead.

AN: I'm sorry this chapter was so short, I just wanted a quick little briefing on what's been happening for the last three months. The next chapter is where I'm gonna start bringing in the avengers and start the Age of Ultron.

QOTD - Should I write a prequel? Like about the war and her getting brainwashed by Hydra? I didn't want to say to much about that in this chapter cause I think it be really cool to have something to write since the next avengers movie ins't coming out for another two years. I wanna go into depth of all the torture she endured with Hydra and the process of getting brainwashed.