Collide - SKAM Fan Fiction

Chapter Twenty Five

Panic

"You- You're him.." My voice is small.

Everything has come back to me. I remember the powerless feeling I left. How my skin shivered as his cold breath against mine like venom burning my skin. I remember the cold uneven wall my shivering body was forced against.

That gap in my memory at the end of the night has now been filled with the nightmare that was my reality.

The world around me becomes a blur. The sound of the ringing bell is swallowed by my thoughts. I feel a tear fighting its way out but I hold it in not wanting to feel as weak as I did that night. His face drops and he soon realises that my amnesia is wearing out and I am now clear of what really happened.

"um, I've got to go to class" the worry in his voice is obvious. As he turns I feel hopeless again. Like he has me in the small room trapped. Still and silent, I stand there watching his figure slowly walk away with my innocence with a part of me.

The air around me is thick and I struggle to take any breaths in. As people push past I feel their eyes glancing my way and their face painted with annoyance.

Sounds become nothing but a muffled. My grip becomes loose as pins and needles rush through my body. What would have been the faint sound of my binder falling against the floor deafens me and echos through my air drums. The ground under caves in but instead of falling I am stuck. The thought of what could have happened flash in my min, My body begins to shake and the air that surrounds me has disappear I feel as though I am choking. I am hit with a cluster of emotion. All hitting me hard across the face. Unable to process it I stand alone as moving bodies shove their way through.

I know this feeling too well. It's going to happen, the fear of my demons being shown to the world is going to happen. I don't know if I can do it. I feel as though I'm going to die. I want to run but my body is stuck, trapped.

I'm valuable.

Suddenly I feel a strong grip hold me. I flinch at a touch of another. As it sends memories of him in my mind touching me, dehumanising me. I cave in and let the flood of tears will my pain.

Everything is going at a speed to which I cannot keep up, but at the same time, I am moving slowly to the point where I don't think I'm moving at all.

Christoffers POV

I see her,

she is standing alone in the middle of the halls. People push past giving her giving death stares as if she had killed someone.

Her skin is fair which is unusual not like the warm olive she naturally is as if she has come from the beach and has been kissed by the sun. Instead, she is pale like she has seen a ghost.

I shake my head, how do I even know what her skin normally looks like. I'm not some stalker.

I make my way towards her sensing that something is wrong. Usually he walks with a wide smile like shes laughing at a joke that definitely wasn't funny. Yet of course Grete would find it so hilarious.

Her chest is rising up and down fast and her body is shaking. Her face is full of pain like she is screaming but nothing is coming out. I walk slowly towards her. Calling her name.

Then it hit me I know what is happening.

After going home that day I searched up what Benzodiazepines is used for. I swear this girl get me to do things I normally wouldn't. Like studying and doing research. I then I realise why she needs it.

Anxiety.

I know my mum takes pills for that. When dad would leave for days on end on "business trips" she'd need them to help cope with every day things. I remember being a young and helping her get out of bed. Cuddling her and letting her know that she is the best. T