Collide - SKAM Fan Fiction

Chapter Fourty - Nine

Words kill

That word. That single word made my slow beating heart stop.

'Nothing.'

It was nothing... I bit my lip stopping me from yelling at him for saying,

Those harsh words that I didn't know were the one thing that could kill me.

"I know." Is all that I could say. It was a lie. I didn't know what he was gonna say when I came here, but saying that it was nothing was definitely not what I expect to hear.

"I just came here to say, nothing has changed between us and.... -"

"Don't tell Adam?" He spat cutting me off. My eyes widen I had forgotten about Adam. I had just cheated on him and I didn't even feel bad.

A flood of guilt flush through me. Unsure if was because I had kissed Chris or if it was because I didn't even feel guilty about it.

Looking over to Chris I nod. "That would be greatly appreciated," I watch as he clenches his jaw before slowly nodding his head. I hear a little squeak in the background. Looking at the ground already knowing who the source of that squeak was. I scan my eyes back over to Chris who was already starting back at me.

"I better go then," I whisper not wanted Chris to hear my voice break. As I walk away My throat becomes dry. Brushing all my emotion and feels away a burning feel began to ignite.

Sitting back in my car I exhale a deep breath. Letting my head rest on the chair all sorts of thoughts circled my head. Why did I come here in the first place? What was I thinking? That Chris was gonna tell me he wanted me and we're gonna live happily ever after?

Life doesn't work like that. He has Iben and I have Adam...

Adam. I face planted as guild pours over me. Pressing my lip together as I messily brush my fingers through my hair. I need to see Adam. I need to tell him what I did and that I'm sorry. Turning on the ignition I bit my lip thinking of to say.

I bit my lip nervously as I wait outside Adams door. Pacing around I say out loud what I'm going to say to him. Repeating each word making sure  I'm saying it right.

"We were in the moment and he kissed me and we were drunk. But that still no excuse, you have no idea how sorry I am. " I say to myself getting ready for the long speech I will say to Adam.

"I'm sorry I understand if you are angry I-" I get interrupted by the door swinging open.

"Hey, baby, who are you talking too?" I turn my body towards him and drop my hand to the side. Biting my lip I shake my head trying to look as normal as possible.

"Oh, nothing there was a fly." I lie and he nods letting me in. Taking slow deep breaths in and out I slowly walk into his warm house.

Offering me something to eat or drink I decline his offer and sit on his couch shuffling around trying to find any spot that is remotely comfortable. Pressing my lips together I face him giving him a toothless smile as he takes a seat next to me.

"Are you okay? You look a bit uncomfortable." Adam says noticing my awkwardness. I give out an even awkwardly laugh as I sink into the couch.

"I'm just a bit hungover I guess." Lying again. Surprisingly I didn't feel hungover. I think it was the fact that after the incident with Chris I had completely sobered up.

I turn my attention back to Thomas who didn't look too hungover himself. Under his brown eyes hung gray bags, but nothing too heavy that changed his appearance in any way.

"That party was crazy, I had no idea people can party that hard." He exclaims with amazement filled within his eyes. I nod my head agreeing with him. That party was something alright.

"So what were you doing with that Chris guy when I came and get you?" My lips parted. This is it. I should just spill out everything. Right here right now. I know it's the right thing to do but why is it so hard?

Probably because you'll be hurting someone you once loved.

"We were umm." I gulp. Trying to find the right words to tell him.

Looking down I gaze at my hands that began to sweat. Suddenly I felt a wave of emotions flood through my body and I try to push it all away by closing my eyes.

Fluttering them back open I look back at a worried Adam. Shuffling closer to me I want to push him back away. Knowing that after I tell him he'll want to be as far away from me as possible.

"We were just catching up." I smile punching myself for backing out. Nodding his head I could tell that he believed me. He believes me because he trusts me, and all I do is lie to his face.

"Did you have a good night?" He asks changing the conversation smoothly as if I didn't just lie right to his face.

"It was pretty good," I have to admit that party was probably the best party I've been to. It was the first one in months maybe even years where I just let go.

"What did you get up to?" I ask knowing that he wouldn't have done what I did. He probably talked to his old friends about some stupid game that came out recently.

"Oh yeah nothing," he says while scratching the back of his head. "Just talked to some old friends." He gives me a small smile. I look away not daring to keep eye contact. I couldn't just stare into his eyes knowing that he did exactly what I expected while I cheated on him.

"Great." I chirped a little too loud. He chewed on his lip.

"Yeah great."

Sitting on the couch we both stare off into the distance. The difference was I wasn't just staring at the gray carpet that he owned. My head was running wild with only one person constantly popping up.

Christoffers Schistad.