Collide - SKAM Fan Fiction

Chapter Sixty-Two

Frustration

My eyes dart back to Chris who, to my surprise is already looking at me. He's examining my reaction but I'm not going to give it to him. I told him to let me go and he's doing as he promised. Just with Lovisa. Who is beautiful but someone I thought was my friend. I mean I've known her for a little over a month now, and like everyone at school she knows that happen to me and Chris. So why would she bother to bid on him.

I watch as Lovisa hops on stage and gives Chris an awkward hug. My stomach is empty but yet I have this growing feeling to throw up. I feel sick watching them. Knowing that her lips could be on his tonight.

As they walk off the stage together Chris whispers something in her ear and she nods. I can't help but need to know what he's telling her. Wanting his hot breath against my neck as he whispers something into my ear.

He then walks away and Lovisa walks the opposite direction. Noticing that I'm staring she smiles and begins to come my way. I try play if off like I was wasn't just staring at her and him without blinking. Watching over their every move. Trying to make myself look busy I  pretending to look into Eva's bag for something as if it was my own.

"Hey Grete." I give a subtle sigh before engaging into conversation with her.
Turning my body to her direction I try my hardest to not look as hurt as I feel.

"Hey!" I say trying to not be to fake.

"I'm sorry that I bid on Chris. I thought I'd be better than some random girl" It definitely not any better than a random girl. Actauly id prefer a random girl so at least I have no connection with him but with Lovisa she is my friend so when I talk to her, all I'll think about is them.

"At least you knows it me, I'm not going to do anything with him. I just want to let you know" those words didn't give me any relief. But I guess it is true. If she's true to her word I guess it give me some sort of relief knowing he won't be kissing another girls lip.

But I have no right to be angry. No right to be jealous and no right to tell her not to do anything with him. She bided on him and won. It's her hard earned money. But I guess it doesn't stop the hurt that's roaring in my stomach.

"No it's okay. We were never together and you bought him. You guys can do whatever you want." It hurts as I say those word. It's true if I wanted him I could of, on that day when everything blew up, choose to be with him.

But instead I told him to leave me alone. I can't be mad that he's keeping his words

As I try move my gaze to anything else but her I notice over her shoulder Chris coming towards us. His hair bouncing as he walks. I swallow a deep gulp. Shaking my head. I try look anywhere else but towards him. I really can't deal with this right now. If he's going to flirt with her, even though it's none of my business I would rather be anywhere but here.

Fixing myself up I scan my eyes around the room. Letting my eyes wonder noticing eveyones smiles and how much fun eveyones having. Everyone but me.

Looking over to Eve I  see her scoff down a couple more drinks while flirting with a couple of brunette boys at the bar. Vilde is accompanying her. Twirling her hair around her finger. Giggling at everything they are saying.

Glancing over to Sana I see she and Chris is playing beer pong. I let out a laugh as Chris gets one in which causes everyone to cheer. Scanning my way across the crowed I furrow my eye brows when I notice William and Noora talking about who knows what.
She looks angry and he looks hurt.

Turning my attention back to Lovisa I see that Chris is coming closer and closer. Grabbing my keys I get ready to go.

"Anyways I have to go. Have a good rest of your night." pushing myself past her I hold the metal key tightly in my grip. Trying hard not to think about what might happen tonight between both of them.

I fight back the tears in my eyes and breath in and out slowly. Finally getting in my car I slam the door shut hard after me.

Frustration overcomes me and I can't help but ball my hand in a fist and hit the steering wheel wanting the pictures of Chris flashing around my mind to disappear. I don't want these feeling for him. I thought I was able to hold it in but after seeing him tonight it's going to be so much harder than I thought.

What was suppose to be 5 minutes ended up being an hour.

•

I drive around aimlessly. Going round and round the same neighbour hood trying not to think about Chris and Lovisa. The car is filled with silent. I don't dare put on any music on the radio and I don't bother to connect my phone to the Aux because my thoughts are loud enough.

How is he able to participate like it's nothing? How was he able to bump into me and not say a word? Its been a month since I last saw him. Detoxing from his scent. My body began to withdrawal from the familiar feeling I get when he was around him.

But here I am, he is back and I am again back to square one. Its killing me with the thought of him with another girl. The thought that I just ruined everything between him and I.

I want to taste his lip again. I want his smell to fill my lungs. I want his cold skin to send shivers down my spin.

I want him.

But I can't have him and that wants frustrates me because I told him to leave me alone. I told him that I want nothing to do with him. It's my fault and I don't know why I ever did that decision because now its kill me.

I thought I'd be fine but I'm not.I don't want to admit this.

But I need him.