I'm F.I.N.E (Demi Lovato)

for give , but not forget ...chapter 19 part 2

next thing I knew

I passed out...

[ Rachels pov ]

I woke up drowsy , and to this annoying ass beeping noise . it was getting on my last nerve -_-tt . I opened my eyes to see where I was , it was so damn bright I could barely see. I kept opening them to get adjusted and finally they got used to the light . I look over to hear crying , like 2 people crying . I sit up and look over to see Dylan crying and demo crying . Dylan was crying on to demis shoulder . while demi was just sitting there crying . I said in and very very weak voice " h-hellow ?"  Both of there eyes shot up at me, and instantly shot put there seat . they came running to Mr quickly and kissed me all over . I kinda got annoyed by it and said  "stop ! plz " . they sat down and looked at me . Dylan asked demi if she could talk to me alone for quick molment. she nodded and said to me " we have to talk baby girl " .ans left . Dylan moved my fragile body over and layed down with me . he stroked my black hair , while I starred into space not wanting to look at him . I was ashamed . he said in and stern voice " look at me " . I shook my head " no " . he took my chin and faced me over to his face . I shut my eyes tightly not wanting to see the sorrow in his eyes . he said again " Rachel look at me now " . I still didn't open my eyes , after he said " fine , you brought this apon yourself" . he got out the bed and I heard him walk around to my face and kissed me . I instantly opened my eyes to see this amazing boy looking at me . I tried to shut to turn away from him , but he climbed on top of me. he looked me in the eyed and said " do you know why your here , or what happend ? " . I shook my head and said " I remember passing out ". he looked down then back up and said " when I came into the bathroom , you had cut your leg completely to shreds , and I called demi to come help . you ran away and lost a lot of blood but still survived . why did you do it baby ?" . I said " NOW I REMEMBER WHEN I CUT myself and called for help ..... I-I don't know why I did it . " don't give me that bull Rachel ! why did you do it !!" . I said " because all the flash backs of when I first cut myself and when my dad raped me and what I did to myself . all the scars every where on me . how could.anyone love me like this , I'm a screw up and fucking fuck up !! I started to bang my head and yell at myself , but Dylan pinned my arms down and said " I can't explain this enough , you have done sooo much for me !!! , you let me live with you . your sister is helping me stop cutting and helping me eat . you are helping feel loved and cared for and not just think about suicide all the time ! your my rock.  your my god damn EVERYTHING ! " . I began to cry into him . he came in the bed with me , and I grabbed his shirt . I clung on to him , while he held me close and rocked me back and forth . I sucked my tears and up and said " Dylan I'm so sorry , I'm soo sorry !!!!!! I'm soo sorry . I'm sorry that I don't appreciate you as you do me . but you have helped me too , you love me when no one else did . I wanted someone like you ! <3 . your the best boyfriend there is and we have only been dating a month and already love you to pieces . he kissed me on the for head and kissed his temple . he got up and said " I'm gonna ask demi when we can leave " . ohh and rachel " I love you babe " :* "I love you to ,love ". demi walked in and said baby girl ? I said " yes " . can we talk when we get home ... ? " yes demi I wanna talk to you too " . I hugged her and kissed her forehead multiple times while she kissed my temple multiple times to . she said to me while walking out the room " get dressed we gotta go " . I got up very stif and sore I looked at my leg under the hospital gown and it looked horrible . I mean horrible . it were all these deep gashes on them . some on the surfous and some deep . they were just red lines , not even scabs yet . I collapsed on the ground and Dylan heard the thud I guess and came running in. he came to me and said "what happend !" . demi was gone sighing my release papers . I opened my mouth but no words came out . I tried to get words out but I just couldnt . dylan said " baby what is it !! , plz try calm down and talk ". I calmed down and said " did I really do this to myself pointing at my leg . " he didn't even look down he wiped my tears and said " yea ...baby you did , I didn't want you to but I couldn't stop you . he picked me up , even with his stitches. Thoe he is already healed but still he Is sore .he sat my 80 pound body on top of him and kissed my collar bone multiple timed until I calmed down . I got up ,but he forced me back down and said " are you ok  to get up , I don't mind sitting here ?" .I shook my head " yes I'm ok well better ..." he helped me pack my stuff and walked out so I could Change . everything always turned for the worse than dylan was there to pick it all up , with the help of my special lady " my other rock ,demi " . wouldn't be here with out her . <3 <3