I'm F.I.N.E (Demi Lovato)

lonely girl ...chapter 62

3 DAYS LATER

[ Dylan's pov ]

it has been 3 days since Rachel and I took an " break " .  And I was doing my usual for the past 3 days , play video games . I'm not unsally the video games kind of dude , but I didn't want to start cutting .

for Rachel's sake ...

I don't think she has been cutting , but I could be wrong . it was an late night about 10:30 , and demi was doing an over night at the studio .

Rachel had been having her insomnia spells again , only when she was extremely sad . I had been hearing her whimpers and cries . I knew she would try to muffle them out with the t.v. or music.  but I saw right through her .

she just shuts me out everttime I try to see if she is ok . it was an cold night though and I could here cries again through the music .

I really wanted to check up on her , but she needed my space . that's all I want to do is give her space , make her happy .

[ Rachels pov ]

I was just sitting on the floor infront of my bed crying , again . I turned my music up loader as I cried harder . just another insomnia filled night what fun , right ?

I really just wanted to sleep , but they wouldnt let me . they always told me to stay awake longer and longer . they convinced me to cut myself yesterday ....

I don't know , I feel like such an hypocrite !!! I judged Dylan and did the same thing ! I carved " don't eat " in my stomach right wear Dylan did his .

I did it yesterday at around 3 am , while pondering my emotions . all I wanted to wad forget my problems and be with Dylan .

I'm not made at Dylan in an sort of way , I just get rude when I'm upset . I'm not friendly as I seem .  I was literally so exhausted . all I need is sleep but I can't !

I stopped my crying and went to the bathroom to try and clean myself up . I looked at me self and I honesty looked like shit .

I was in one of Dylans shirt and some bitty shorts . with red eyes and strained tear cheeks . I put my hair in an lazy bun and tool my snake bites out .

I washed my face and dried it off with an towel . I dried my hands and put an new pair of snake bites in , my purple ones . I was tired of my black ones .

I sat on my bed and sighed at the thought I was thinking .

should I go see Dylan ....?

I always figured I slept better with him and considering my condition now , I needed him . I didn't want to see him , I didn't want to tell him I have an fresh cut carved into me !

I was still pondering the thought when I felt myself in contact with his door . I bit my lip and knocked on the door .

seconds later Dylan opened the door and looked at with an frown . I just stood there and choked out " uhh..I'm c-cold can I sleep with you ?".

he didnt even hesitate before he pulled me for an hug . he arms wrested right about my cut . I gave into him and hugged him .

[ Dylan's pov ]

I'm so happy she is coming to me ! I'm tired of her not sleeping and crying . no , not in an bad way but as in I'm tired of seeing her hurting .

she let go of me and I closed the door behind me . she sat on the edge of the bed looking at me , clenching her sides .

she looked so exhausted and scared . I turned off my game system and the lights , barely seeing her . But the moon light helped a little .

I picked her up and layed her under the covers . as soon as I left her side she curled up into the fetus position . I stripped my clothes down into my boxers and t-shirt and got under the covers .

she wad facing the other direction . I pulled her body closer to me and she flinched . I don't know if it was because she cut or she was afraid .

her breathing started to get shakey and I just held her tighter . we were basically spooning haha , but I don't mind .

she flipped herself facing me and looked me straight in the eye . by now my eyes had adjusted to the darkness so I can see everything .

she looked at me and whispered " I'm sorry ". I pulled her closer to me and said " don't be , I know . take as long as you need to think just remember I love you ".

she slightly smiled and I kissed her nose . she came closer to me and layed her head on chest and I gripped my arm around her waist .

she flinched again moving my hand and shot herself up . she sat right up in the bed and I instantly knew she cut herself. it happenes everttime ! I should have been checking her !! I'm so fucken stupid !!

she just held her side and started breathing heavily . I sat myself up next to her and said in an soft whisper " let me see them ".

she looked at me with so much fear and shook her head indicating " no ".

I turned on my lap next to me on my night stand . I looked at her serious and said " let me see them ,now " . she sighed and got up from the bed .

I guess she cut her stomach , like me ...

she pulled her shirt up and revealed the marks . she had carved in her stomach " don't eat ".

it really hurt seeing her like this , I just wanted to hug her . she began to cry , and I felt my face feel wet and realised I was crying also .

she put her shirt down and I pulled her towards me . I turned off the light and brought her in the bed with me . she was still crying . just some stray tears though.

she layed her head on my chest and wrapped my arms above her cuts . he crying slowly stopped and she just looked around the room .

" go to sleep , baby ", I said to her in an whisper . she just stared into space and said " I can't , they won't leave me alone !".

I looked at her straight in eyes knowing well enough it wear those BASTARDS in her head talking again . spoke positive words to her the whole night , not knowing what else to do .

it popped into my mind after " sing to her ! ". I looked down at my finger to see my promise ring . and I looked down at her fingers and saw her still wearing hers .

it made me feel good she never to it off . she was still staring at blank space and I started to sing to her .

she sits up high

surrounded by the trees

one million branches

and she loves everyone

mom and dad did you search for me

I've been up here so long

I'm going crazy .....

she was now looking directly at me , I smiled to her and kept singing . she looked away and snuggled more into my chest and relaxed .

I pulled the covers on top of more I finished the song . she didn't move the whole time . once I finished the song I looked down at her .

she  looked peaceful and exhausted but was breathing normal and finally asleep . we both defiantly she needed it ...