I'm F.I.N.E (Demi Lovato)

this pain is just too real...chapter 69

[ Dylans pov ]

I woke up with very tired eyes , I guess from crying . I was on the couch with Rachel wrapped around me. I had felt better since my parents funeral .

bur no way will I be in condition to go to school , considering its 2 days away . what an lucky Friday ! noting my sarcasm .

I shifted a bit to get more comfortable and Rachel fluttered her eyes open , giving me an warm smile .  I smiled back at her giving her an weak smile as I got up .

I stretched my back out and sat next to her on the couch . "how you feeling", she said while placing her hand on my leg .

I just looked up at her "I feel better but I'm not ready for school on Monday", I said . she came closer to me and wrapped her arms around me pulling me closer to her .

"its gonna be ok , you know it will . we have eat other and if we have to ouch some people on the way to happiness , so be it ", she said with an chuckle at the end .

I laughed alittle while kissing her cheek . she looked at me with sorrow eyes before speaking "are you hungry?". I honestly was , but didn't feel like I deserved it .

"I don't know I said", trying to drop the subject . she just looked at me , in my dark brown eyes "I know you are.  I'm not gonna let you go back to old habits ", she said while gesturing to my promise ring .

she qas right . I don't want to go back to old habits . I sighed deeply and said "fine , ill eat something". she jumped up I'm excitement pecking my forhead before running of to the kitchen .

she was in the kitchen cooking some kind of an contraction ! I just stared in space trying to get my parents off my mind , when demi walked down stairs .

[ Demis pov ]

as I walked downstairs to Dylan , he gave me an warm sad smile . I made my way to the couch , and knelt down infront of him .

I grabbed his hand rubbing my thumb over his knuckles .  "how have you been hmm ", I said while looking at him in the eyes .

he just looked down and said "obviously could be better but I'm holding up ". I smiled at him and kissed his cheek .

I was about to asl him about food when Rachel voice cut me off . " BABE THE FOOD IS READY ! ". I smiled briefly at him before saying " come on let's go eat ".

he got up and followed me to the kitchen . it smelled amazing almost like pasta .

when Rachel turned around she had too plates of Alfredo chicken pasta . " this meal is served ", while laughing . causing Dylan and I to laugh .

once we all started to eat I looked up at Dylan who was just staring at his food . "please , for me Dylan . if you won't do it for yourself do it for me ", I said while looking straight at him .

he slightly smiled before picking up his fork and twirling it in the pasta .

_____10:30pm_____

[ Rachels pov ]

I had been cuddled up to Dylan for some hours just being lazy and watching movies . demi had left and hour ago to give something to her manager and would be back in an hour or soo .

I looked down at Dylan who was half asleep . he was trying to keep his eyes open, which was literally the cutest thing I've ever seen .

"its ok Dylan go ahead and sleep", I said while pulling the covers up to us more . he snuggled closer into my side wrapping his arms around my waist .

he layed down peacefully for the night , for the first time without crying .

I checked all the doors and Windows before climbing back into my bed with him . so enough I felt weight on my eyes and drifted to sleep .

_____

[Dylans pov]

when I woke up it was still dark probably 3:00 am. i got up and went to to get something to drink . and when i came back up stairs .

I saw Demis room light on so I went to check on her ...

[ Demis pov ]

I had enough of me own guilt ! I can't fucken handle another night blaming myself ! for everything !

I ran to my bathroom in seach of an blade but came up with nothing . I was fumbling around in my makeup bag looker for my pencil sharpener .

I finally found it and smashed it against the ground breaking into little pieces . I honestly didn't care if anybody heard that . I just want to release my pain right now .

I lifted my shirt up and took the blade up to my stomach . I swiped it across mg skin muttering out "one for leaving Rachel", "two for letting her get raped", "for letting Dylan almost kill himself", "for not helping Rachel", and "for being the ungrateful ashamed piece of shit".

by the time I was done I had about 20 slits on my let side . they wernt deep , just deep enough to draw blood .

I didn't even cry , I expected myself to . but I don't have any tears left to cry ...

I'm just pissed so , ill take my anger out of myself than others .

I cleaned up my cuts and put mt shirt back down . I didn't bother wrapping them . I didn't care . I don't think they will bleed through anyway .

Iwalked out my bathroom almost turning out the light when I saw Dylan . "Oh , shit you scared me ! ". I said in an whisper .

he chuckled abit and said " haha sorry , I saw your light on and wondered In here ".

I just fake smiled and said " so how you feeling ?". he looked at after taking an SIP from his drink and responded "I guess I'm feeling better . I feel fine , emotionaly I guess ".

it made me feel better that he was starting to feel better . I smiled while pulling him into an hug . I kissed his cheek and smacked his butt "noe get back to bed ! you have school in 2 days !!".

he laughed while pretending to be hurt by my hit and kissed my cheek before closing the door . as soon as he left , I felt myself just fall into depression . having it'd arms wrapped around me holding me in place . whispering to me every so often

"your here to stay"