I'm F.I.N.E (Demi Lovato)

Purge...chapter 49

[ Rachels pov ]

Dylan picked me up from the floor and piggy backed me to demi room . I was having an great time with life right now and no panic attack , I had been taking my meds daily now thoe . and 1 week from now is my birthday , so I'm feeling pretty good .

I hopped on demi's body and said in an happy voice " bby we still gotta talk ". she looked at me and dug her face into the pillow .

she said " um I got drunk cus I wanted relief of everything . I have so much stress with my own disorder . its hard. I love going to the studio because it makes me feel better . and I'm sorry if you think I'm leaving you cuz I'm not , I just want to gather myself together .

[Dylans pov ]

when demi told us that I ran to hugged her and apologied for only realising my problems . she had problems to and we didn't under stand that they were just buliding up inside of her .

Rachel Did the same, hugging and apologising . she hugged demi to pieces , and kissing her . demi got ready for the studio that day and left after . not like we wanted to stop her if she needs relief we are not going to stop her.

[ Rachel pov ]

demi left later today so Its just me and Dylan now . he said he had an surprise for me next week for my birthday and literally I can't wait , if it anything like the dance we had at the old house OMG !

I got up and took out my snake bites and walked down stairs . I saw Dylan making an sandwich , but there were 2 . I'm still not good with the whole eating thing , I can eat but I literally wanna purge after.

[ Dylan pov ]

I made sandwiches for Rachel and I , she and I both promised to start eating again cause I swear we are getting skinnier by the second . I saw her come down the stairs and look at the food but not me .

I sat it down on the table as she sat . she just stared at it motionless . I kneeled down next to her and said " baby , the food won't hurt you ". she nodded not talking her eyes off the food .

I grabbed an knife and said " ok will you eat half ".  she nodded and I smiled . I picked up the knife with and shaking hand . all the urges came back as soo I as I picked it up .

my hand was shaking as I slowly tried to cut the sandwich . " UGH I cant do it !! " , I yelled in frustration dropping the knife . she got up and moved me away from the knife and just rubbed my back .

[ Rachel pov ]

I moved Dylan away from the knife and he just looked at me . I kissed his nose and said " its ok , ill eat the whole thing ". he nodded and I walked to the table and throwing the knife in the sink .

I picked up and sandwich and ate it , I still wanna purge its just to much . I saw him devour his sandwich like an usual boy would haha .

he got up and took my plate and sat them in the sink , not spending to much time there knowing the knife was there .

I still sat there motionless really wanting to purge . Dylan came to me and rubbed my back " what's wrong ". I looked at him and opene my mouth but nothing came out .

I slammed my head on the table and stayed there . he picked my head up and rubbed it from how hard I had hit myself . he picked me up and sat me on his lap.

I was just thinking about how bad I wanted to purge . I have never had this much of an urge it feels unnatural .

I got up to go purge and my excuse to Dylan was " b-babe ill be right back ".

[ Dylans pov ]

I sat her on my lap and held her . I already knew she was thinking about purging , so was I . But I WONT let her , we are keeping are promise .

she got up and said " babe ill be right back ". knowing that meant " I'm going to purge be right back". as she got up and shot up and picked her up wedding style to the couch and looked at her and said " I'm not stupid baby , your not going to purge ".

she looked at me breathless , like she was blown away or something . she just stared at me an then said " it's so fucken hard I'm already fat ! ". I pulled her up directly and grabbed her face and said " listen to me ! your not fat ! darling your loosing more wait ! you were 80 pounds now your 75 ! that isn't healthy !"

she looked down , and said " I know , I don't know why when I was in eltelemety school everyone told me I was fat , so I always believed it ".

I looked at her in her eyes and said " Rachel , those people were jealous ! look at you , your beautiful amazing wonderful and your sister is thee demi lovato , I would be jelly to haha but haters make you stronger . you can't let them get to you . plus where do you think they are now! probably working at taco Bell with no life ! and you have this huge house demi and me ! your not alone for sure baby ".

she had an huge smile on her face , she hugged me and kissed me repeatedly . I laughed at her enthusm . we were just laughing when we heard an knock on the door ...

EAMAHGERD GUYS I HAVE FREAKED 1 K LIKE THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH REALLY IT MEANS A LOT I get a Chance right about my fantasie life and have to deal with " life ". but thank you sooo much !