I'm F.I.N.E (Demi Lovato)

can you feel my heart ...chapter 58

[ Dylans pov ]

I stood in front of Rachel's room and knocked . all I heard was her muffled words " leave me alone ". it echoed threw Mr eyes knowing she was That hurt , plus he birthday was tomorrow .

I  really fucked up this time

demi opened the door and walked in , following after her . she stood infront of Rachel while I stood on the other side .

I bent down to her face that wad buried in pillows , "babe"? I said trying to get her attention . she spoke still muffled threw pillows " what , have anymore secrets you don't want to tell me ".

I gave demi and apologetic look saying " can we be alone ". she read my look at nodded.

she kissed Rachels head and left the room closing the door . I pulled her body up by the arms , looking at her beautiful face .

she sat her self up sitting her back against the bed frame . She looked down the wholw time . she looked up at me once and paniced and looked away .

I didn't dare speak , she seemed so scared . she continued to look down playing with her snake bites .

" are you going to break up with me ?" , she said while finally looking at me . I sat Down on the bed and said " no , no no no I would never ! I'm not breaking up with you ! ".

she got up out of frustration and yelled " WELL WHAT IS IT ! CAUSE THE ANXIETY IS KILLING ME ! "

I took an deep breath and said " yesterday , I cut myself but I didn't want to ruin your birthday worrying about me . and demi was in my room and asked her not to tell you because I was afraid ". I was almost in tears by the time I was done .

[ Rachel's pov ]

NO HOW COULD HE ! HE WAS DOING SO GOOD !! I looked at him and said " Dylan , baby no ". he just collapsed to the floor crying .

I hopped over my bed next to him taking his body carefully since I didn't know where they were .

I sat him on my Lap , he instantly wrapped his arms around my neck and mine around his waist . I rocked him back and forth and I said to him softly " can I see them ".

he just shook his head . " please Dylan ". I pleaded to him . he just cried harder struggling to get words out . I rubbed his back and kissed his shoulder . waiting until he was ready .

he slowly stopped crying and I just held him tighter . he moved his head from my neck and looked at me straight in the eye and said " your gonna hate me ".

I looked him back in the eye and said " baby I love you , your my everything . I not could never hate you , even if I tried . I love you . even if you do have scars ".

he just sighed and stood himself up . he got off my lap and stood infront of me . I looked up waiting for him to show me.

he lifted up his shirt , and I saw gauze covering an section of his stomach. I pulled it back slowly and I covered my mouth looking at the one he carved in him .

"Rachel and demi" carved on his lower stomach . I felt the tears fall out my eyes and Dylan quickly wrapped them back up and put his shirt down . I got up and backed away from him . he looked at me with tears going down his cheeks .

he pleaded to me " I'm sorry Rachel , I'm sorry , I'm sorry , I'm sorry please I don't know whats wrong with me please I barely remember anything . all I know is that I wasent in control , my pain was not me . I let the blade take over ".

I was trying to listen to his words but I just couldnt . He was scaring me . But for some reason this pain was making me want to cause my own pain .