I'm F.I.N.E (Demi Lovato)

disasteroligy...chapter 67

[Rachels pov]

I layed dylan in his bed and closed the door after falling asleep on the couch yesterday night .  he looked so hurt by everything . i never really knew he had feelings for his father , I always thougt the feelings were hate...

but he must of had an secret love for him , I don't blame him . if I was created by someone I would still want them to want me even if they did treat me bad .

but we think we need them but we really don't thats why they leave . we don't need them , they slow us down from making accomplishments .

I walked to demi's room to see her smiling like an idiot on her phone . "what's with the smiling hmm?"

"Ohh hey haha oh nothing just an really sweet little boy who keeps tweeting me ". I just laughed and sat next to her . I layed my head on her lap and said "dem you think I could write an song for Dylan ".

she looked me surprised " you ! sing ! finally ! releasing that talent I knew you had !". I playfully smacked her arm and snuggled deeper into her lap .

"sure thing but not today , studio ", she said looking really sad . l looked up at her and nodded in understanding . "for sure tomorrow !! OKAY!" , she yelled in excitement .

I just laughed at her and said " arnt you gonna be late ?". she looked Down at me " yep , but your my baby and my other baby is hurting so ill be as late as I want ".

she said crossing her arms over her chest in protest . " its ok just go I have got Dylan ! plus if things get out of control I have you and mom "

she got up slipping her flip flops on and kissed me before walking out the room . I walked out to see she made an pit stop to Dylans room . then left .

[ Dylans pov ]

I was awake staring at my t.v. thinking about my father when demi walked in . she told me to call her later today and that Rachel was in her room .

she gave me an kiss and walked out .

after an little while I got up and walked to Rachels room .  she was watching t.v. when I knocked on the door frame " room for one more ?". she smiled and patted nex to her for me sit .

"how you feeling?", she said while giving a warm smile . honestly I don't know , I feel better but once I'm alone again I'm just gonna break down .

so I did what I do best ...hide my feelings

"I'm fine", I said while faking an smile. she gave me and unsure look but then dropped the situation .

we cuddled together under the covers with my fingers intertwined with hers . her head on my chest relaxing me .

I felt her relaxing more onto me and her breathing relaxing . she was asleep . I shifted her back on her pillow and she woke up with groggy eyes .

"sshh , its ok go back to sleep baby girl ", I said . while she got unde the covers getting comfortable .

she stopped moving and I knew she was asleep . soo enough I fell asleep ...

_____

***dream***

I felt a. heavy wait on myself as I opened my eyes . I shot my body up and fell back down as I opened mg eyes I saw my father face to face with me .

he had an evil grin on his face before he raised his Hand and connected to my face .

this didn't feel real , like reality but the pain felt real . the pain I've felt since I was 10 years old . punches , kicks , smacks . it all felt real . for the most part I knew it was an dream because the BASTARD is an will be dead .

I woke myself up from my dream and shot out of the bed . after I realised I was out of the dream I instantly had the urge to cut .

I mean an fucken urge . I wanted to just trust into my arms and forget about life . I must have been an horrible child , no one would deal with me .

I needed to cause myself pain for the pain I give others .

I ran to my room glancing at me clock ,10:30 . I didn't care I slept all day I just wanted That fucken blade . I had finally found an blade I took from demi when she wanted to cut herself .

I sat on bed letting the tears fall as I dragged in my wrist . I dragged in my wrist multiple times until I couldnt function anymore .

I crying hard but silent to demi didn't here or Rachel . I got up slowly walking to my bathroom and cleaning eat cut .

after I put on an black long sleeve . I got in my bed and stared at the ceiling and before you know it . I was asleep ...

[next morning]

[ Rachel's pov ]

demi left reallt earlt this morning so just me and Dylan for now :) .she Said we could work on the song I was gonna write for Dylan the next day . which was perfectly find with me .  I got up and took and shower and did my usual . I changed my snake bites and took my medicine .

I walked into Dylans room and he was in the bathroom . he had an look of pure disgust ...towards himself . he was wearing blue shorts and an long black sleeve shirt on .

I didn't think anything of it though . I walked towards him reston my hand on his waist . I kissed his cheek and he hung his head low .

"baby whats wrong", asked gripping his waist tighter . he just shook his head and mumbled " I've done something wrong ".

I instantly flipped him forwards me and placing my hands on his face .

"babe what did you do wrong", I asked as I saw tears glisten In his eyes. he just shook his head trying to push me away but I wasent having any of it .

I slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it . I stood infront of the door so he. couldnt leave .

"what did you do", I said with an attitude . he just looked back down at his feet playing with them .

I had an feeling he had cut considering the long sleeve , but it is an cold summer morning .

I walked close to him and tilted his head up . "baby", I said to him almost in tears . he just looked at me with his big dark brown eyes giving me that puppy eyed look .

I looked his left arm , considering he is right handed. I held up his sleeve to my face , he didn't even hesitate .

he just looked me in the eye as all of this was happening . I pulled up his sleeve for his left arm and saw all the red puffy marks .

they were still fresh but not super fresh like these were done maybe yesterday .

"when did you do this". I asked .

"yesterday", he winced as I touched one making sure it wasent super deep .

I held his hand on mine and went to the first aid kit in the cabinet .

I wrapped his wrist in gauze with out saying an word to him . once I finished I sat him down on the bed . "why did you do this", I said letting an tear fall . he started to sob and I pulled him into an hug.

he said " I had an nightmare that my dad came back from the dead and was beating me . I couldn't take it . I'm sorry ".

"its ok , you have nothing to be sorry about . it's nor your fault , you were variable . listen to me , its gonna be ok ! everything is gonna be alright okay ! I love you and i WONT let anyone hurt you ! and I know you would do the same ".

he was looking at me straight in the eye before he pulled into an hug . he clung on to me and I jusr held tighter to him .

he pulled away and I wiped his existing tear . " I just miss them . I was still hoping for them to change ", he said going back into full on sobs again .

"sssshh we can talk about it later ok . get some more sleep . ", I said while laying him back down on his head .

I layed him under the covers still crying . I just held him in my arms singing him one of are favorite songs . soon enough he fell asleep with an flustered face , tear stained cheeks , and blood shot eyes ...