I'm F.I.N.E (Demi Lovato)

stay strong ...chapter 24

[ Dylan's pov ]

I still wanna cut , and I'm gonna . I woke myself up on purpose at 4:00 this Morning , just so I could cut . I've had the urge to do it all damn day .

I was just trying to stay strong. but that text message just made me break Down .I got up slowly, not trying to wake Rachel up . and left all the lights off just in case . I grabbed my hidden blade and pulled my sleeve up . I cut slightly deeper each time I traced it over my arm .

I wanted to rip my skin to shreds but I heard an familiar voice .

Rachel...

[ rachels pov ]

I woke up to the bright light in the bathroom , I thought Dylan had went to go pee . so I got up and said " Dylan ?" while knocking . he said through the door " hey ,babe be out in an bit !".

I said " ok " and sat back down on the bed . he came back out of the bathroom looking kinda of suspicious . but I didn't act on it . he climed in bed with and different shirt on , and black long sleeve . and when we went to sleep he wasent wearing a shirt .

I just looked at him and thought " did he cut ?!" he turned of the light in the bathroom and it was completely dark . then all the sudden some damn lips smack right into mine .

I jumped and laughed . he laughed and said " can you see me now ". I nodded and said " yea , your the brightest star in here ".

he said "aw babe " I kissed his cheek and layed my head on his chest . I kept thinking why he was wearing a long sleeve , its summer and 100 degrees at night ! I looked  to dylan who was just playing with my hands and said " would you lie to me baby ".

he shot up and said " no never ! I don't have a reason to I love you !"

I sat up and got off the bed and stood there infront of him . I kneeled down and said " if you wouldnt lie to me ,will you answer this question please ".

he looked at me concerned and said " u-um yea ofcourse ". I took a deep breath in and said " did you cut yourself ?" . tears started to trail down my face after . he looked down at his arm, and I carefully pulled up his sleeve . I saw every mark , damn . he  was obviously ashamed .

he said in and raspy voice hidden behind tears  " I was tired of feeling this way , I wad trying to stay strong but I just couldn't ". RACHEL I'M SO SCARED ! I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH IT ALL !" .

he was completely hyperventilating . I calmed him down and grabbed his hand to the bathroom . I pulled his sleeve up and cleaned his cuts . he was clenching his fist at the pain from the alcohol .

I wrapped his arm up and pulled his sleeve down . he started walking out the bathroom and I pulled him directly back and said " we have to talk about this , I'm not gonna let you do this to yourself !". I almost shoutee at him.

he looked back at me so mad and yelled

" I CANT HELP IT !  IVE BEEN AN SCREW UP FOR YEARS ".

I pulled  to me back in the bathroom  . he looked at himself in mirror . he was mad and his face soften when he realised what was happening .

he sloched down then  just sat on the ground and looked at me and said " are we this dysfunctional" .

An bitter laugh escaped my lips " no , we just have are own battles to fight  ".

he looked at me and smiled . I kissed his bandages , while helping  him up .

I sat him on the bed and said " gosh , Dylan we both need therapy haha " , I said half heartedly .

"yea he said probably for the best ", he said trailing off .

" I will talk to demi about it tomorrow or I mean today " .

he smiled and got on top of me. he said while kissing my neck " I've got the best girlfriend in the world ".

I could barely speak because he was sucking on my neck ! I finally muttered out my mouth " you enjoy this.  uhh I should have never told you ".

he smiled and said " but you don't know mine " I smirked and said " What is it !"  I didn't click into my mind until now . I looked at him and grabbed his head and said " I know what it is " .I pulled his head and kissed his neck , I felt him shiver and I knew I found it ! but he pulled away

i looked at him while rubbed his neck . he said " no fair !" . I pushed him down and said " yes fair !"