I'm F.I.N.E (Demi Lovato)

stuck in the moment ...chapter 51

[ Rachels pov ]

I woke up next morning and slid out of Dylans grasp. I took my scarf off and looked at me HUGE hickie . it was horrible  and it hurt he freaken bit the shit out of me ! ill get him back thoe .

I walked to my room quietly still in my bathing suit from yesterday . I was gonna take an shower so I closed my bathroom door and went to turn the shower . I opened the curtain and saw all the sharp objects there from yesterday .

when my mom told me to get everything sharp away from me . I began to feel sick to my stomach . knowing how fucked up I was . I was perfectly fine right now , but still wanted to cut . still having urges .

I walked slowly to the blade and picked it up . I ran my finger across it and placed it on my leg . I swiped it across my leg , I saw the blood start to form on my leg and I dropped the blade .

I fell to the ground and was shaking . I trired to calm myself down but just got worse . I cried out softly knowing no one heard me " Dylan ". I just let the blood drip on my leg . it was an surface cut but it still bleed .

[ Dylans pov ]

I woke up and noticed Rachel wasent in my room anymore . I didn't worry I thought she had just tooken an shower from the pool yesterday . I sat myself up and was thinking about yesterday . that hickie !! gosh it was huge . ill call it my masterpiece .

I smiled to myself and got an sick felling that something was wrong . I stayed quiet listening for anything and I heard what sounded like Rachel saying " Dylan ". repedily . I shot up and went to her room .

I opened the door carefully and saw her shaking I looked at her single cut on her leg and got some paper towels to clean it . it was an surface cut so after I cleaned it I put an bandaid on it and kissed her leg .

I picked her up and she threw me off of her . I knew she was having an panic attack and I didnt know what to do . only kiss her neck but I don't know if that would break her down .

I walked slowly and tried to pick her up again but she threw me off again . I sat there next to her . I didn't want to set her off so I just stayed with her . she started to bang her heard with her hands and pull her hair . I grabbed her arms and trired to pin them awatmy from her and she shot up and yelled " DON'T TOUCH ME !"

she grabbed her blade and ran past me .

[ Rachels pov ]

I WANNA DIE ! THEY TELL ME TO DIE ! SO WHY DON'T I JUST DO IT ! I HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE ! I yelled to Dylan holding the blade to my neck .

Dylan just stood there talking to me calmly but I couldn't here him over my monsters . " kill yourself, your not needed " , " who would love an girl who cuts and starves ", " drop dead bitch , your dead weight ". I yelled over the noise " BULLSHIT!" , punching my fist into the wall .

demi busted threw my door and I just angrily looked at her gripping the blade and tears flowing down my face . Dylan looked over to demi and she knew what was happening .

I stood in front of my bed , while Dylan was at the entrance of my bathroom , and demi was at the entrance of my room Door . it was an triangle . I had no way to get out .

I feel to the floor still gripping the blade to my neck . demi came closer to me and hissed at her " come any FUCKING closer I saw my fucken neck , you know I will ". she stopped in her tracks and tried to speak to me but I still coudnt hear her over my demons .

I was done I going to kill my self , I don't care . I pulled the blade away from me and rushed it to my neck ...

[ Dylans pov ]