How to Lose your Best Friend

♧XVIII♧

PJ

I feel bad about taking up space in Antonio's room. I felt even worse when he told me that I get his bed. I'd rather take the floor than sleep somewhere that I didn't belong. I've slept on the liquor store floor for 90% percent of my life and I bet Antonio's rug was far more comfortable. I told Antonio that I didn't want to be a bother but he put in an argument of his own.

"This had been my home for 16 years. It doesn't matter where I sleep. You, however, are new to this family and our house doesn't feel quite like home to you yet. I insist that you sleep somewhere comfortable where you can actually get a good night's sleep for once," he explained. It's almost as if he could read what I was thinking without even asking me. Antonio's good at stuff like that. He can tell when I'm hurt and he can tell when it's a good time to talk or leave me alone.

While Antonio was asleep I couldn't help but wander around his room. I was having trouble falling asleep and I needed something to take my mind off of drinking. I scanned Antonio's snowboarding posters, medals, and colognes until I found a collection of pictures. They were sitting underneath a barely used Polaroid camera. I don't think I've seen Antonio use it since the week after he got it. I blew off the layer of dust covering them to realize that they weren't too old. They looked like they were from about 2 years ago when my life was more put together.

Drinking wasn't a word in my vocabulary, I had a decent amount of friends, my parents were more involved in gambling than me, and most importantly I had her. The first couple of pictures were of Antonio and I skiing and attempting to hit the highest jump in the whole park. Antonio forced me to stand at the bottom while he went for the jump and I was supposed to take the "perfect shot." The jump was great but someone should've told me to take off the camera's cover before trying to take any pictures. Antonio was pissed but I bought his dinner to make up for it. We got over it in almost an instant and we laughed for the rest of the night about it.

I flipped through the rest of the pictures to find a few of Blair and Eagle. Speaking of I wonder how the two of them are doing. From what I've seen Blair's trying to go after her and it's not working out too well. I wouldn't mind if she was with him though. He's a good guy and she deserves to be happy. I lifted the camera back up to place the pictures back where I found them. I noticed an untouched picture turned upside down with the word "PJ" messily written in green sharpie. I turned it around in my hands to find that it was covered in more dust than the others. I wiped it off with the bottom of my shirt to find a picture of Eagle asleep on my lap. She was curled up in my arms while I was looking down at her smiling. If that picture didn't bring back memories then I don't know what else would. My mind shifted from drinking and finding a way to sneak out of Antonio's house to missing Eagle. I took the picture in my hands as I walked back to Antonio's bed. I set it on the nightstand as I curled myself into the covers. I laid there with my eyes wide open as I wondered why she couldn't still be in my arms?