How to Lose your Best Friend

♧XXXVI♧

PJ

I woke up to Antonio shouting about how happy he was to be going to the beach today. I'm sure I'd be happy too if I had a swimsuit, knew how to swim, didn't burn like a roasted marshmallow, or have been to a beach before. My parents have never bothered to really take me anywhere and I never learned how to swim. The moment Antonio mentioned the beach I tried to dodge the bullet by telling him that I didn't have a swimsuit. Too bad he had like 5 extras. Why does anyone need that many swimsuits?

Antonio left me in our room to change while he grabbed breakfast. I took this time to go to the bathroom mirror and check if my bruises and scars had healed. I've had marks from my father since the day I was born and the blue and purple markings were not the most pleasant thing to see. I'm also aware of the scars I've received from thrashing on the liquor store floor on broken glass while I was sleeping. Those cuts were a good reminder of the sleep terrors I received thanks to my amazing parents. I'm not sure if I still have them but Antonio hasn't mentioned anything and I've been getting a pretty good amount of sleep.

I pulled up my shirt to find that my bruises were still visible and the cuts along my rib cage hadn't healed. I pressed my hand against my most noticeable wound holding back a few tears as the familiar pain came back to me.

I looked at myself in the mirror as a single tear streamed down my face. What did I ever do to deserve this? Why couldn't I just go to the beach with Antonio without worrying about what my body looked like?

I wiped my tear away as I headed into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat before heading to the beach. I could hear Mateo shouting my name as a bottle of sunscreen hurdled my way. I've never used sunscreen since I never left the liquor store and asking how to put it on would make me sound like a complete fool. I pressed the top hoping that some of the sunscreen would come out.

Lucky for me the sunscreen did come out. Too bad no one explained that sunscreen could be turned into a mist and wasn't always like lotion. The fume hit me straight in the eye causing me to blink uncontrollably until I got it out. I watched Antonio's mom giving Antonio the "yikes, go help him" look as he walked over and grabbed the bottle from my hands. He attempted to lift up the bottom of my shirt before I quickly interrupted him asking if I could just keep it on. I didn't need his family seeing what a mess my body was and I was trying to have a good time today.

I heard Mateo's girlfriend asking Mateo if he wanted to play a game and I thought it would be the perfect distraction. I was hoping that everyone would forget about the shirt incident and playing whatever game she wanted would be a good escape.

As soon as Antonio agreed I sprinted off in the opposite direction hoping that he'd get distracted by the game. I watched as Mateo inspected a few rocks debating if they were good enough to show to his girlfriend. I proceeded to gather a few rocks that were a decent shade of brown before heading back to the group.

I watched as Antonio tripped running back to us as he held a broken shell in his hand. I went over to help him up and wondered if he remembered that my shirt was still on. Luckily he seemed to be more upset about his broken shell than my shirt.

I watched as everyone shared their finds along with a sappy story about why they chose that particular rock. I couldn't believe that Mateo and his girlfriend took this so seriously. The whole game was honestly idiotic and had no point to it. I began to wonder if I was just wasting my time until Antonio revealed his broken shell. That's when I realized how much this game meant to everyone around me. Everyone put their all into finding the "perfect" rock and I was the one who didn't care. I felt bad knowing that Antonio actually thought about me when picking out the shell and how sad he looked when it broke. I felt like a total asshole realizing that I didn't put any effort whatsoever into picking out my rocks.