How to Lose your Best Friend

♤XLVI♤

Antonio

Months have passed since my night with PJ. Some nights it feels like an eternity since I've touched his skin against mine but on others, it feels as if he's still there next to me.

The feeling of his hands caressing my skin as his tongue intertwined with mine was burned into my mind. The sound of our heartbeats pulsing as we thrusted against each other still rung through my ears. His ocean blue eyes looking in mine made me want to sink and drown and die.

We pass each other in school occasionally and he continues to wave at me but it's nothing like before. He's mainly doing it to keep suspicions to a minimum. People have already become interested in who I spent that night with and neither of us wants the truth to come out.

I've heard a few suspicions about our dying friendship and the popular theory is that I was with Eagle. Sides have been taken and I have a decent amount of people on mine. Mostly because a good majority of people think that PJ treats Eagle like shit and that she should be with someone better. I honestly, couldn't care less about what people wanted to believe. It was a bit obnoxious but who can stop them? They'll always find a way to irritate you and snoop around in places that they're not wanted anyways.

I was too worried about PJ and I's current relationship to worry about who people thought I was with that night. I needed him back in my life and I have no idea how I'd even talk to him after what happened. I helped him cheat on Eagle, an innocent bystander in the situation, and I doubt that he'd chose to cheat on her sober. She didn't deserve a disloyal boyfriend but if I'm being completely honest I doubt that she even likes him. He didn't mention anything about her but I wouldn't be surprised if she was pressured into dating him again. Unlike me, she didn't need him in her life to be happy. She was better off without him and she's more focused on her music than him. He gets in the way of her and clings onto her like a new puppy.

Ever since he cheated on her he's been especially attached. It's almost as if he's trying to prove to me that he's loyal to and loves her and not me. I've known that all along but it just feels like a sharp stab in the stomach when he shows how little that night meant to him. To him, I was just a subject of his actions. I was Eagle for the night and he got to do everything he wanted to do to her to me.