How to Lose your Best Friend

♧XL♧

PJ

 I swear the Rosario household needs to get a better grip on their air conditioning.

"Your car's AC is just as bad at Mateo's house!" I shouted at Antonio about 5 minutes after we got into his car. Literally, anywhere I go with this kid is below 30 degrees.

"Serious? I'm kinda hot, you can have my hoodie," Antonio replied as he pulled off the jacket. The material gently slipped off of his body nearly pulling up his shirt as well as he placed the soft material in my hands. I slipped my arms into the sleeves as my body was filled with an immediate warmth from just being on Antonio. I swear I think I'm just cold blooded or something. I'm the only one who's ever cold and his body's always been so warm. Even on that night...

I prefer not to talk about what happened on that night but I feel like I'll have to discuss it with him eventually. Why the hell did he kiss me? Is that the normal response when a friend is crying or is it just an Antonio thing? Maybe I'm just stupid.

I'm not mad or anything. I don't think I could ever be mad at Antonio.

Not to mention that this all happened right before I spotted Eagle. Seeing her and standing next to Antonio couldn't have made me even more disoriented. It was almost as if I felt some type of conflicting emotions.

I think I'm just confused. Oh so confused. 

I caught a glimpse of Eagle for the first time in what feels like years. Seeing her face was probably the sole reason for coming back to school besides Antonio's parents forcing me to get my life together. I watched as she ran into her favorite practice room before anyone else could snatch it.

While there were about 7 practice rooms 3 has always been her favorite. Whenever she was forced into another her sound wasn't the way she wanted and everything seemed off. But when she was in room 3 everything seemed to fit right into place. I'm not a stalker or anything but I do love watching her live her life even if I'm not a part of it.

The moment before her bow hits the strings of her instrument are filled with anticipation and I don't think I'll ever forget the look on her face when she gets the perfect sound. Her smile begins small before eventually widening from ear to ear. Her eyes begin to close and her cheeks begin to flush as the rhyme of her sound waves bounce off the walls of her favorite practice room.

I don't mind watching from afar as far as I still had her in my view. While I'm not part of her personal life anymore I can tell by the look in her eyes that it's hard. Hard to live, hard to keep going, and hard not to give up. It's easy to spot when someone is barely holding onto a breaking tread and they're trying the best that they can to just be okay. I know what it's like to only have one thing keeping you going and as long as Eagle's still holding onto her sanity I'll be keeping a tight grip on mine. My sole purpose in life was to make sure that her life turns out perfect and that she'll live out her dream. As long as I'm around no one will ever disturb her peace and as long as I'm around she'll stay blissful forever.