How to Lose your Best Friend

♧XXXVIII♧

PJ

It's not a secret that Antonio's been acting really weird for quite a while now. I thought I was the only one who noticed at first but the rest of his family has picked up on his behavior as well. Mateo suggests that I talk to him about it but I had no idea where to start. I planned on talking to him on the last day of our vacation but I was way too tired to talk after getting home from a long day of windsurfing and playing beach volleyball. The moment we walked into our room I flopped onto the bed falling asleep in almost an instant.

I could feel Antonio tossing and turning beside me which was quite unusual for him. Normally he'd lay on his side of the bed silently, our backs resting up against each other as we fell asleep. I debated about asking him what was wrong when he rolled on top of me immediately crushing my lungs. For any normal person, it wouldn't hurt to have another person laying on top of you. Too bad I wasn't a normal person.

While my memories were foggy I was still able to recollect the development of my bruised ribcage. Not buying the correct equipment to fix something in the store, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and straight out minding my own business all gained me quite a few blows to the chest. Every Time my father hit me my breathing became more and more weak, It's gotten to the point that the slightest amount of pressure would cause a sharp stabbing pain. I've avoided certain movements and I'm learning how to cope with the irritation but I couldn't take it. As Antonio spread himself across my body the tenderness in my ribs became more and more noticeable as my body became inflamed. I held back tears as I asked him to get off of me hoping that he wouldn't ask any questions and just get off. Too bad he didn't take the hint and continued to rest on my wounds.  I tried to explain that he was hurting me without revealing my fractures but he didn't understand. The pain got to a point that I couldn't hold back my tears and they began to fall down my cheeks. Great, now I'm crying in front of my best friend.

I thought that he'd just ignore my tears and leave me alone but he had to be a good friend and explore the issue. He began to lift up my shirt before I could stop him and all my secrets were revealed. Each blemish, scar, bruise, scratch, and tear in my skin were all visible for him to see.

"How long have you had these," Antonio asked going along with the worried friend reaction.

"I'm not sure," I answered truthfully. The past was a bit blurry and I could only remember faint moments.

"Who did this to you?" he asked. He was still in the dark about how cruel my parents could really be. I thought about lying and telling him that I got into a fight but I doubted that he'd fall for it.

"My amazing parents,' I admitted.

"I'm so sorry," he replied just like any concerned friend would.

"Don't feel sorry, my bruises are healing," I replied. He had nothing to do with how my parents chose to treat me and he shouldn't be apologizing for anything.

"You know that this is not okay, right? Nothing about this whole situation will ever be okay," he stated the obvious as I tried to tune it out.

"Antonio, it's fine everything is going to be okay," I said attempting to reassure him.

"How can anything be okay after all the things they've done to you?" he asked. I used to worry about that stupid question all the time until I found my answer.

"Because it's over now. Antonio, you saved me," I replied ending the conversation. Antonio was the guardian angel that saved me from the living hell that was my house. He took me in and cared for me. I don't think that I could ask anything more of him.

I'm not sure how I'd want someone who just uncovered my past that I didn't want anyone to ever find out about to react. In a perfect world, he'd pull my shirt back down, pretend that nothing ever happened, and go back to sleep. In my worst nightmare, he'd tell his parents and they'd call child protective services. That's the last thing I'd ever want because no matter how far my parents were behind bars they'd eventually come out and they would find me. Only then, the beatings they gave me now would look like child's play to what they'd be giving me on that day. In reality, I assumed that he'd continue to probe me for information involving all my scars. My nightmare staggered in my mind making it hard to tell what was just a dream and what was real. The sound of him calling his parents into our room to inspect my body as his brother dialed child protective services ran through my ears. As much as I wanted that not to happen I was prepared. All of my feelings were out on the table and Antonio was now aware of the treatment I received from my parent's.

The best situation, worst situation, and what I thought was reality all rumbled inside my brain as I waited for Antonio to choose which one would come true. My heart rate rose as he began to open his mouth and I almost had a heart attack when he turned toward his door. I assumed that he was about to call his parents into our room when he turned back around, his eyes locking with mine. That's when all my worries went away and I decided to just live in the moment. I couldn't control how he was going to react to my trauma and I had to embrace whatever he chose to do. I'm sure Antonio knew what was best for me and if putting my parents behind bars would help him sleep at night then I guess I could be okay with that.

That's when all my thoughts and false realities became obsolete. I lived in the moment and watched as Antonio's face leaned in closer to mine. I closed my eyes and prepared for some soppy quote about how my life would get better and how everything was going to be okay when his lips pushed against mine. As he pulled out of the kiss he gave me no explanation for his actions. All he did was wrap his arms around me pulling me inside as we began to fall asleep. I didn't expect him to respond the way he did but as long as no one beside him knew about my abuse then I guess that I was okay. At least for now.