How to Lose your Best Friend

♤LXXXIII♤

Antonio

I slept with my prom king crown next to me and my sash hanging at the end of my bed. I'm ashamed to say that's the biggest thing I've accomplished this year. I fell asleep in the comfort of my own bed not thinking of much. I'd grown accustomed to sleeping by myself again but I did miss PJ's company from time to time. I tried not to think about it as I drifted to sleep only to be shaken awake by my mother.

"Antonio wake up we're getting in the car right now. Don't ask questions it'll only slow us down!" she shouted at me.

What the hell was going on? I began to put on a warmer jacket but she pulled me into the passenger seat of her car before I had time to change out of my pajama pants or top. I zipped my jacket up and buckled my seat belt as she sped out of the driveway.

She never goes about the speed limit and I swear we were going at least 90 mph.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked scared of the possible answer. She's never woken me up in an urgent like she just had. I had no idea what could possibly have happened until she turned to look at me. I knew she was worried but her face showed a far greater fear. It was filled with heartbreak and despair. She didn't say anything at first but I could almost guess what it was about.

"Eagle called you but you didn't wake up. She said that PJ's passed out on the liquor store floor and that she just called 911. She thought that you'd like to know," she responded.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked not knowing what else to even say. A few minutes ago all I wanted to do was go back asleep and now I couldn't help but be jolted awake.

"I'm not sure. He's unconscious and it hasn't been reported if he can breathe or not," she informed me staying calm. I wondered how she could possibly be calm in a situation like this but I could tell that she was just doing it for my sake. I could sense her fear and her trembling hands on the steering wheel just confirmed it.

While PJ wasn't her son she thought of him as one. Ever since my brother went off to college and moved on with his life he hasn't been a huge part of ours anymore. He's become an adult now and didn't need a mother to take care of him. As for me, I don't have much going on in my life. I throw parties, pretend to have friends, and cry over PJ. there's not much to me. But PJ had something. He had a story and a life. Sure it was hard but it was something that made him who he was.

My mom kept up with whatever he did and took care of him. Whenever he'd overdrink we'd be the ones driving him to the hospital and we tried to show him a better life. I thought it was working for the time being but once school started and Eagle came back into his life he just began to deteriorate. If anything were to happen to PJ not only would I never be able to forgive myself but I don't think my mom would be able to either. She cared about him just as much or even more than she cared about me. PJ made our lives interesting and without him, our lives seemed pointless.

We reached the liquor store in a short amount of time. We parked next to what looked like Eagle's car but it was too hard to tell in the barely lit lighting. I ran over to the commotion just in time to see a couple of nurses loading PJ's unmoving body into the back of an ambulance.

I stared in shock. Just a few hours ago he looked happy staring into Eagle's eyes and now he couldn't even open his own. I was overwhelmed with shock that it took me a minute to notice Eagle talking to a nurse right next to me. They wanted her to ride in the back of the ambulance as a sense of comfort for PJ. That spot was reserved for family but as expected PJ's family was nowhere to be seen.

She looked hesitant to say yes and I assumed that was because her anxiety was taking over. She was shaking uncontrollably and from the looks of the scene around me, shit had gone down. The window to the liquor store was smashed as well as her car's. Not to mention the glass stuck in her arms as her blood dripped on the floor. I wanted to save her from the mess around her and be by PJ's side instead of her. I was sure that I'd provide a better sense of comfort to his unconscious body than she ever could.

"Uh...can I ride with him too?" I asked.

"Are you a sibling?" the nurse looking back at me asked.

"No," I responded awkwardly. I already felt bad for troubling her with my questions.

"Well, what are you to him?" she asked confused.

What was I to PJ? I didn't even know the answer to that. I wasn't his lover, I was just a lover of him. I don't even know if I could consider him my best friend. He hasn't talked to me ever since he cheated on Eagle and I could only blame myself for that. If PJ's life were to end tonight I'd die knowing that, that was going to be his last memory of me.

I watched as the doors to the ambulance closed with both Eagle and PJ inside them. I couldn't do anything to help the situation and all I did was stall time. I guess I really was just a distraction. It seems like all I ever did was make situations worse.