More Than Just Butterflies (Marianas Trench fan fic)

Chapter 49

***Josh’s POV

That ring. She had an engagement ring on. If it hadn’t crossed her mine before then it sure as hell had now. She told Brad she was getting married.

Fucking Brad. I hate that little bastard. One day that guy is going to get what’s coming for him.

Most likely not from me.

Maybe.

I’ve punched him once. I’m sure that little fucker can’t put up much of a fight if he resorts to hitting women.

Ok. Yes, I was concerned that they ran into each other but she’s ok for now. Of all things to tell him, why that? I mean, it was Katie’s idea and all, but why’d she have to go with it?

Damn it, Katie! Are you just trying to plant ideas into everyone’s heads?

No. That’s not fair. Emma told me from the beginning she wanted to be married one day. She just never planned anything. Was she planning on marrying me now?

While Emma went to return the ring to Katie, I went outside the apartment to just stare out into the city. I’ve noticed that Emma does that from time to time when she can’t sleep or needs to think. It honestly helps somehow. I heard a door open and close followed by footsteps heading in my direction. She sat down beside me without a word.

“Can I ask you something?” I said breaking the silence.

“Nope. Never.” She shook her head.

On any other day, I would’ve smiled at her sarcasm but I just couldn’t do it right now.

“Would you want all this one day?” I said while gesturing to myself.

She sighed and gave me a tired look, “Josh, if this is some sexual joke about your body I’m really not in the mood.”

“No, I didn’t mean it in the sexual way, although that would be nice but that’s not the point.” I shook my head. “I’m asking if you honestly know what you’re getting into while being with me.”

She got this unreadable look on her face before she cautiously said, “Unless this is you preparing to break up with me, I’m not following.”

“No, I never want to leave you. It’s just, with all that’s going on with Katie and Mike…”

“You want to know where we are?” she found the words I couldn’t form.

I just nodded.

She turned her attention to the Vancouver streets and thought about it. Her silence was killing me. I wanted an answer but at the same time I wanted the silence to last forever. Was I ready for the answer? Did I want us to suddenly be defined by her next sentence?

She didn’t look at me, “Where do you think we are?”

Was she really turning this back to me? Are we going to play that game of ‘I asked you first?’ That wasn’t the answer I wanted but maybe she knew I needed it.

When I didn’t answer, she began to speak again, “I think a better question is why you need to know. Is there something going on that I don’t know about?”

I remained quiet again. She turned to look at me.

“What’s really going through your mind right now?”

I began watching the cars drive by.

Just throw it out there.

“I just want to make sure you honestly know what you’re getting into. My touring is going to pick up again after we start spending more time in the studio to finish the next album. We’re not going to see each other much. I feel like I’ve taken over your entire world, hell, I’ve even brought Katie in the mix somehow because you are living with Mike.” I sighed and turned to look at her. “I just don’t want you to one day realize things won’t always be like this and decide to leave. I don’t want this to come out as if I’m trying to leave you because I love you, but if you don’t think you can handle all of this, I want you to be honest with me.”