WAYWARD - L.H

thirteen

That feeling when someone's going to tell you something important but doesnt tell it to you anyway and would just walk out?

Last night was really confusing and I hate thiis feeling, He wanted to tell me something but decided against his own feelings. He left me hanging, he juist walked out on me again, can you remind me how many times he already walked out from me?

Today's the trigonometry test and fuck it, I didnt even review. I feel sad and I know that Im going to fail..as usual. Why are you even surprised, Scott! you always fail. Wait! did I just called myself, Scott? Oh my god, he's getting under my skin, I told him to not get into me but I got into his. This couldnt be happening! No! I have to stop what Im feeling for me,m he's an asshole, Pheobe and you have a boyfriend, do you want to be called a hoe? of course not! so, stop it! Luke is no good for you anyway..but is he really no good? because sometimes it feels like he's the best in me. God, I need to know what Im feeling.

I took a seat at my usual chair and fidget with my unpolished fingers which was so cold it feels like death? I dont know. A few moments just passed, Our professor came and we started the quiz. I didnt even dare to look at the paper, I didnt even dare to touch it and write my name on it, Im definetly only going to make a fool of myself if I answer the equations, its so obvious that I dont know anything about this shit. An hour has passed and my classmates collected the paper. I just sat there, in nothingness. Lock inside my thoughts abyss. I felt like an idiot who is ruined by her emotions and ruined by trigonimetry.

The class ended and I got up right away, I didnt even care to look if Luke Hemmings was in class, I just, didnt care..atleast thats what I tell myself, because, deep inside I know I was longing for him, but why would I long for him he isnt even my boyfriend I should care for Lucas not him. It felt so wrong to be with Luke but it also felt right. 

Im indeed going to be insane.

Lunch time came by and I sat beside Michael this time.

"You look horrible" He greeted, his face all bulged up because of all the various food inside his mouth, chips, fries, pizza and this huge marshmallows.

"Are you doing your own version on chubby bunny challenge?" I teased, placing my tray on top of the table,

"Shut up! ew, an apple and fresh milk is your lunch" He choked,

I nodded, "Got any problem with that?" I laughed almost going to punch him playfully.

He gave me an evil glare but I didnt back down, "Anyways, I need a favor"

"What?"

"Can you lend me some money?"

"No, Why?"

"Jesus, You werent even going to lend me some but youre going to ask me why Im going to need it? Youre a guy but youre nosy, yuck!"

"God, if your reason is for a good cost, who knows if I may or may not lend you, how much anyway?"

"I'll tell you why but dont tell anyone or I swear to god I'll kill you, just 200"

"Jesus! JUST 200?? I only have 150 and.....Im going to use it"

"Use it? where?"

"There's a new call of duty ga-" before he could finish his sentence I cut him off by hitting him on the back of his neck.

"Ow! What the fuck, Pheobe! You cant just go hitting people on the head like that!!" He whined, brushing his neck

I laughed, "I swear to god, I need it! I'll pay you anyways!!!" I begged;

"You just hit me in the fucking head and you think I'll lend you my money?" He freaked,

"But, Michael!!!! You love me!!!!!!!!!!"

He groaned, "Girls are so annoying! No wonder you have cooties! Jesus!" He took his wallet on his tight pants back pocket,

"Tell me first where youre going to use it" He was about to hand me the money but took it back again,

I sighed, "I need it to buy a plane ticket!"

"Fuck what!?"

"Are you deaf?"

"Where the hell are you going?"

"Australia!!! I need to see my boyfriend Michael and I need your money and my money so I can survive for almost a week in Australia!!!!"

"Jeez, keep it down, why do you need to see him anyway when there's Skype?"

"Thats the problem, he's not returning my Skype calls and even my emails, I want to see him too you know and talk to him,"

Michael furrowed his eyebrows, "What about school?"

"Nah, I'll be back before you know it, bud!" I exclaimed brushing his shoulders, "I know you're going to miss me anyway, I'll just check on him and go back here, right away"

"Yeah, okay, it's not like I can stop you anyway" He grinned handing me the money!

I giggled and hugged him tight, obviously taking him by surprise,

"But! please dont tell Luke?"

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