WAYWARD - L.H

thirty three

My face went pale as I feel every single drop of blood in my body circle the drain.

"L-Luke?" My lips tremble as I say his name.

"Yes! That one! That guy was staring at us the whole time and when Travis made a move on you he stood up and made his way towards us but then you.."

"Stop!" I almost freaked.

Luke saw it. Luke saw me kiss Connor! oh my god this is a lot worst than ever.

It doesn't make any sense but I'm already guilty for shouting at him. For telling him things that I didn't even meant. Everything's worst than I expected. How could everything happen this fast?!

"Oh no" I muttered under my breath,

I can feel my knees turn into jelly.

"Are you okay?" Connor asks grabbing my forearm. He seriously doesn't know what's happening.

"Can you take me back to the dorms?" I asked and he obliges.

The walk back to my room was a blur. I'm disfictional, a waste of space and I'm just..lost.

I'm in a mess. I have this burden in my chest, Travis will never stop harassing me if I didnt tell him that Connor is my boyfriend and I'm pushing Luke off of the edge even though I know that I shouldn't be worried about him. I still have my humanity and guilt.

"What's going on with you, Pheobe? You know you can tell me everything" Connor's voice soothes me as he sits me down on the small couch of my room.

I nodded.

I told him everything. The tutoring, the sweet things Luke did. The way I found out about Lucas and the girl he was with doing god knows what Kamasutra position. The way i pushed Luke away that night. The dance. My moving-to-Boston-to-move-on-and-start-a-new-life plan. Everything.

His jaw dropped on my floor right after I finished telling him everything that's behind what's happening right now.

"I'm so messed up" I shook my head,

"Wow, I know that we were parted away for a very long time but I thought you were happy with your life and not..not like this. Those Hemmings' Twin got to you real bad"

He's right.

I'm dragged under.

Intoxicated.

Lost.

"I thought I could start over but..when I saw Luke again for seems like forever my world started to become more insane and I'm caught up in everything he does. It feels like were a magnet." I admit.

"I just don't get it. You both obviously like each other. I know that. But why can you both just talk about it without screaming and shit. But, do you like him?"

*

Political Science.

It was a blur.

First day in this class and we already had a quiz and a take home assignment. Its only the beginning and I feel like this subject is already tormenting me. But I don't care, I need studies more to escape my reality.

Connor knows everything during the test so I kind of sneakily copied him but he says that its okay I don't mind but I know I feel a little embarassed but I'm promised him to just do this once.

When the bell rang I immediately went to my next class, Trigonometry. I feel my stomach churn as I look for my seat. My first step into the room felt like my shoes are burning as I enter the feiry depths of hell, of course I am over reacting. What's new about that.