WAYWARD - L.H

twenty three

"W-what are y-you doing h-here?" I stuttered,

I couldn't move, it seems like my feet are bolted on the floor.

"Hemmings!" A guy with brown locks, lean body..more muscular than Luke shouted his name, calling him.

He didn't move as well,  I'm frozen.

I wanted to hold him, touch his face even but he pulled away, he looked at me and then left, like I was just a waste of space, a plastic bag.

I was completely caught off guard, I didn't know that he's going to be here, or if I was going to see him again. I thought he fled back to Australia and moved on but he didn't. This is the last place I thought that I would be seeing him. I don't understand, one minute he was telling me about this house and now he couldn't even look me in the eye and greet me hello. What happened to him? I want to know. Here we go again my inner me muttered, I feel so bad about everything. I haven't seen him for months and now he's here..in the same college I am in, just about when I thought that I will move on, start fresh, live more..he comes back and talk all the hope I have in me towards my plan on moving forward.

"Can I get your order?" A girl with curly blonde hair..not really curly, its obvious that her locks are ironed and hair sprayed, I can smell it, she smells like she just came out of the parlor.

I didn't know that I was still holding unto the chair, my grip tight against its back rest.

I smiled my fakest smile, "No thank you, I was just about to leave" my appetite's gone.

She rolled her eyes and left without a word.

I tried to make my way back to the car without bumping unto other drunk teenagers.

I slid back into the car and just stayed there for awhile. Thinking about things that I need to know..want to know.

Why is Luke Hemmings here in CUNY?! Why did he just dissapear a few months ago, he didn't even attend graduation, I bombarded myself with questions only him could answer, I feel pissed, upset and mad right now. Pissed because he ignored me, Upset because I don't like him being here even though a part of me wants him to, and mad because what the hell did he do to himself?! I know that I have no right towards him or anything he does and I also know that its all my fault I told him to screw himself that I hate him but I want him to know that I didn't mean it, I want to apologize but he wouldn't even speak to me. How can I move on from him if he doesn't make his feelings for me clear? I knew before that I like him I just couldn't admit it to myself but it faded and now that I saw him again peircing and tattoos everywhere I couldn't help but feel hopeless again that even if he just look at me with those pale ocean blue eyes I know that my knees will turn into jelly as every part of me ignites. I hate this feeling I hate it, I wish I could end it but I can't, I don't know how.

A loud tapping on my side window almost made me scream,

I rolled it down;

It was Calum.

"Hey" He chuckles, a little embarrassed, "C-can you give me a ride?" He asked, brushing the back of his neck.

I nodded. My subconscious is planning a plot inside of my head but I shove it away, its not that I would kill the guy, I'll just interrogate him.

He slides in the passenger seat and I smiled,

"Wear your seat belt please," I exclaimed, shifting to my seat as I wear mine.

He sighed; "Do I have to?"

I nod.

I started the engine and drove straight.