|Edited| - (11/3/19)
chapter 53:
love isn't allowed. love is never allowed.
☾
Your POV
"Gah! Damnit, Yagi! Just focus you have a test tomorrow!" I said to myself.
Why the hell would he be on my mind? What was he doing right now? He wasn't thinking of me. I shouldn't be thinking of him. He was my best friend.
Nothing else.
That was it.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
He was just the best friend that trust more than most people.
The best friend I could lean on.
The best friend who stuck with me to the end.
The best friend who understood my needs, even when I didn't express them.
The best friend who cared about me and my well being.
The best friend that didn't know I got jealous when he talked to other girls.
The best friend who didn't know my mental state.
The best friend that should've known my mental state.
The best friend who didn't know what I was going through right now.
The best friend who should've known what I was going through right now.
The best friend that deserved to know my true feelings.
The best friend that I was too scared to tell anything.
The best friend I was scared to drag into my problems.
The best friend I was scared that would be scared of what really happens when I shut myself out from society.
The best friend who didn't deserve me.
The best friend who had been the best best friend.
The best friend who had stuck with me, even though I'd sucked at the "best friend" role recently.
He was my best friend.
Just a friend.
No love involved.
Too many things-too many emotions were constantly stirring up in my body that even if I did love him—I would go insane.
Love wasn't an option right now. Not here, not anywhere. I had too many things on my mind—too many confusing things I was feeling.
All the shit I'd gone though in the past, things I'd shut out from my memories were finally catching up to me. I couldn't drag anyone down with me.
So I'd shut myself out.
I'd shut my real feelings out from the world. They wouldn't see the light again. I'd grab my mask and put it back on.
Aren't you excited?
The fakes smiles would come back. The fake emotions.
Everything would be fake.
That was good.
Why?
Because people would be scared of my truths. So, I'd cover them up with believable lies.
And I'd sit here at my desk, in my dream school, with good friends behind my back, and I'd go insane. I'd let my sanity crumble to the ground and keep my real emotions under the bed. But they wouldn't know. They shouldn't be hurt like me. Izuku shouldn't be hurt like me.
Love isn't allowed.
Love is never allowed.
Why can't I just be the same girl I was before?
~✍️♥️
☾
chapter 53:
end
word count: 500
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『 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗴𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗲 』𝗶𝘇𝘂𝗸𝘂 𝗺𝗶𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘆𝗮
Fanfictionprevious title: "Fallen Smiles" [CURRENTLY UNDER HEAVY EDITING!!! due to my hella slow editing skills this book is a fucking JUMBLED MESS. a lot of the comments most likely won't make any sense to the story and such but i'll let you all know when i...
