An Outlet: Part 6

13 February, 2019.

In today's Statistics class, our professor kind of gave us an ultimatum to take the class seriously, come prepared for every lecture because this is the most heaviest course amongst all our majors and minors. Totally agree but it would help us if he taught it properly in the first place. We'll probably have Sat school to cover up for the classes we missed because it looks like the college doesn't give a fuck about the Eco major and always crafts a time table that screws up his lectures.

For example, this semester, my Export Marketing class has been taking place simultaneously with my Stats class which is why I haven't been able to attend my Export class in months! Today was an exception. Apparently today was our final Export class and he wanted to do some sums with us after which he could declare that we were done with the portion. That's very very overwhelming. Anyways, we did those sums in class and it's super easy! Coming from the Stats class level to this level was a big joke.

I had lunch with Deborah and Isabelle afterwhich Gurtley joined us and the four of us sat and worked on our Marketing project some more until it was time for the Awards Ceremony. I was the first one from the TY toppers to go up (down?) on stage and I completely forgot to shake hands with the others and went straight for the certificate. Arghhhhhhh! This feeling of regret has stayed with me for the entire day.

I'd like to say something about this college. I knew it was a big courageous step for me to enroll into this college, not just because it was a new one and we would be the first batch, but also because of what they expected out of us. But over the last three years, this college has made me realise my potential. I was never an exceptional student in school or junior college in either academics or extra curricular activities. But here somehow my academics shone quite a bit and I did find the courage to take part in extra curricular activities as well. It made me feel like I am worth something and am not completely useless.

Another thing.

Constantly throughout my life but most prominently in the beginning of the first year of senior college, I always wished to be part of the "ones who have perfect unity" or be a part of a loud supportive squad but I now know that I won't be able to live the lifestyle required to be in such relations with people. I've realised that my fear of slacking in academics and knowledge is much more than the fear of not having a big and happening social life.