APESHIT 2| Erik KillmongerXCreed

32.

✨Y/N✨

We pulled up in the therapist parking lot and I automatically felt like I needed to throw up. I smacked my lips " Erik do I really need to talk to Someone?" I asked

"Y/N no matter how much you try to get away and forget things you can't, you got to deal with it and move on from it" Erik started off " I'm tired of you crying babygirl and if talking to me isn't enough I want to get you help so you can be straight and free" Erik explained as I looked at him.

"When do I ever cry?" I asked " when you clean the kitchen at night I see it, when you do simply things I see you hurting I try and comfort you enough but now it's time for you to get some help because I love it when you're happy and that's all I want for you" he said as I faintly smiled and we hugged.

He kissed my lips as we got out the car going into the building for our session. We got seated and it was quiet before she greeted me with a smile. I faintly smiled back.

"So how are you?" She asked as I nodded
" I'm good" I said "so who wants to go first?" She questioned as Erik looked at me " I'll go first" he stated.

"Father died when I was little kept me away from my mother never knew who she was till now. Grew up on my own, no family no nothing, served in the military and now here I am" Erik explained.

"So what do you want to fix out of these 10 weeks?" She asked "I just want Y/N to be fine and to move pass her past" Erik said as I looked at him and faintly smiled.

"I also want to know why we're waiting so long to get married it feels like once we got engaged we just stopped" Erik admitted.

"Y/N it's your turn" she said then smiled at me "I lost my mother when I was young, umm" I paused looking at my hands in my lap " um I grew up alone and yeah" I stated as a tear came from my eyes.

"Can you tell me why you're crying?" She asked in the sweetest tone handing me a tissue.

"I-uh... I was molested and abused when I was younger by my father. Once I got older pass boyfriends used to place their hands on me and or raped me." I started off as tears fell from my eyes. I wiped them but couldn't stop crying.

"Why didn't you tell your mother or anyone?" She questioned "my mother tried to help me but he just kept beating her and then one day she never woke up from her beating" I explained then looked down as I continued to cry.

"What happened once your father killed your mother?" She asked " I just felt with it until I reached a certain age and had to kill him off of me" I said as she looked lost for words.

"Where was your family?!" She asked shocked "I was kept from my grandmother and the rest of my family didn't like me or my mother my Dad's side always thought I was lying about being molested by him" I explained.

"And about the boyfriends? Did you ever get pregnant?" She asked as I nodded "the boys would rape me and I'll get pregnant and loose it due to being beat and raped" I admitted as tears just continuously fell.

"How many boyfriends did you have that did this to you?" She questioned "two" I said before Erik looked at me and I looked back.

"Why didn't you tell me there was another man that did that to you?!" Erik asked as I cried and shook my head.

"I didn't want you to think I was disgusting a hoe none of that" I admitted
" no those men who did that to you are disgusting not you, you're not a hoe sweetie you never opened your legs they
Took advantage of you by force" she said as I wiped my uncontrollable tears.

"Erik you don't be mad at her either for not telling you, you hold her and talk to her that's all she felt with her whole life was anger don't be angry about it just hold her" the therapist said as Erik looked at me with a tear falling from his eyes. He hurried and wiped it as I looked down and cried.

"What emotions did you feel at that time?" The therapist asked "I was very suicidal especially once my mother died, I tried but was always was afraid to because I thought I would go to hell" I admitted.

"Why did you take what you took from your ex boyfriends? Did you think you deserved that?" She asked as I nodded and she handed me another tissues to wipe my tears. "Why?" She questioned.

"Because I felt like it was some form of punishment like I deserved it, I deserved it because I didn't save my mother from my father and now I'm dealing with it" I admitted and wiped my eyes and nose.

The therapist shook her head and got up she took my hand and helped me out the seat and took me to a full body mirror.

"The woman that you see in front of you didn't deserve any of that, the woman that
You're staring at is someone who is strong don't ever let anyone do that to you ever. You hold the power to your happiness even though that happened to you, you have to choose if that holds you down or builds you up. You can either let that bring you down or you have power and shade it amongst other female victims who's going through the same exact thing" she explained.

"You're beautiful you can't keep pushing away a man that loves you and wants to treat you the way a real man is supposed to treat a woman, because you keep it up and he will be gone too. Don't let other men fool you there are great men in the world and your fiancé is one of them so keep him, get married and have a beautiful family because as strong as you are and what you've been through you deserve that shit" she said as I giggled some wiping my tears.

"Now you come hold your fiancé" she said to Erik as she stepped back from me and he hugged me as I cried.

"I love you" he said in my ear as I cried " I love you too" I stated as he rubbed my back.