Wattpad: .... Would you like to-
Me: NO! NO! NO! FOR THE lAST TIME! STAPH BEGGING ME TO READ THOSE 3-4 BOOKS YOU CALL HORROR AND THROW INTO MY FEED LIKE LITERALLY EVERYDAY! Improve your horror collection!
da faq?
Anyways.... Even with such a small collection here, yours truly was still able to point out cliches! So yaay me!
Author-san is fearless and can watch any horror movie.
First I close the lights to build the atmosphere. Then I turn off the fan and open the window so that a serial killer can come and kill me while I'm watching a pointless horror movie. Then I turn off the volume of the movie on my laptop.
After that, I close my laptop and go to sleep. That's how I watch a horror movie in my dreams.
Enough said.
1. Stupid things in horror books that annoys me:
∆. HEllo? Is aNyBoDy ThErE? James Charles asked.
Yeah, totally the killer will tell you that he is in the kitchen sharpening his knife to kill you while eating Nutella and crying over k-dramas.
Wait a min... That sounds like me on my period.
∆. Let's split up and explore this haunted Mansion.
Since I totally want the killer to rip me to shreds and bake cookies out of my insides. I thought Stephen king who happens to be my son taught you better.
∆. Let's do the flippity flappity.
Why do you have such a strong desire to be killed while being butt naked? Somehow the annoying couple is the first to get killed. But hey! I'm not complaining!
∆. There is a legend about the ghost of Shrek who comes in your dreams and makes out with Trump.
What is this? My little pony? That everything has to be associated with some legend.
2. Types of characters in horror.
∆ Blonde hot bimbo.
Since who can forget her? Usually the one who gets killed first and sets an example for others.
∆ The hunky dude
Like the bimbo, doesn't believes in ghost and is the second in line to get killed. Usually the one who actually suggested the idea of splitting up. If pairing is done, goes with the bimbo and does the flippity flappity in the alleged haunted place.
∆ the nerd
Is secretly in contact with the killer since he/she is done with everyone's shit.
∆ Character of color
Only there so that the author can put the #diverse tag. They all get killed anyway.
∆ The killer
The author san has not yet decided upon who (s)he is. Which is one reason why plenty of books tagged horror are incomplete.
This should be illegal.
YOU ARE READING
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