Cliché, Cliché Everywhere

How to get the girl: feat.every wattpad guy ever

I'M BACKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

But before i start, here is a lil happy birthday shoutout to Antionicha

Happy birthday! may you get the ability to eat whatever you want without the fear of getting fat. (✿❦ ͜ʖ ❦)

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So, 

How to get the girl: feat.every wattpad guy ever

Badboy Edition!

Disclaimer: Most of these advice are like those five minutes craft hacks which might be disastrous for your physical and mental health. Enjoy!

Good morning ladies and 3.4% of the guy population reading this book(seriously, where all the guys at? This book needs more guys.) I am your host Lizzy Sidd, and today i welcome you all to this chapter which features notorious bad boys, millionaires and guys from boy bands etc who are gonna give you advice regarding how to get a girl. SO lets start! First, we have, Xavier Badboyson who happens to be a 16 year old high school bad boy with the body of an Instagram model! 

Xavier: Thank you! 

Me: SO xavier, give us some practical advice!

Xavier: uhhh..

Me: just tell us how were you able to seduce the new girl in the first chapter and made babies with her in the second chapter. Considering the author said that she is "hard to get."

Xavier: The first step is this that you corner her and then-

Me: wait a min! wait a min! doesn't that come in harassment?

Xavier: er... literally every romance book's blurb contain this scene, i beg to differ!

Me: weak excuse, but oh yeah, its wattpad. carry on

Xavier: well you just corner her and say a hella cheesy pickup line while breathing on her like a broken chimney. Though ensure that your breath is hot+minty and is fanning her face.

Me: can you give an example of the said pickup line? i mean the one you  tried on your gf?

Xavier: sure! uhm.... Hey! you look like trash. may i take you out?

Me: wow wow wow! i'll be slapping someone if they ever said something like this to me. Anyways how effective this method is?  

Xavier: ah, just be husky and hot and leave the rest to her crazy hormones. Ever read stuff like"my stomach was doing back flips-" or "the butterflies in my stomach became penguins and their waddling intensified" type of jizz? yep, just trigger that spot and you got her melting.

Me: and what if she calls 911 or her parents to report you for being a creepy potato?

Xavier: (confused look) which type of girl do that?

Me: there ar-

Xavier: (cutting in) -on wattpad?

Me: none...

Xavier: and there we have it! go and get your girl! and if she pulls out a pepper spray or taser to stun you just tell he that you are the male lead and she is the female lead. And we both are two types of cockroaches who never die and eventually end up together with thousands of babies by the  end of the book.

Me: O-O thank you for your time, Xavier and that was for todays tutorial, loosely based on five minutes craft with the most PRACTICAL advice on the whole of wattpad. But before we stop, one last question. What about her "protective" father? What if he comes in to beat you up? 

Xavier: i can assure you that her dad will only appear once the author san is out of ideas. which means, in the very last chapters of the book where he would just appears outta nowhere to attend her daughter's wedding. UwU

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WHO's next? Millionaire? werewolf dudes or dudes from boy bands? from whom do you want the next set of advices from? or is there any other guy you desire to know the thoughts of? XD

lemme know in the comments. :)

(btw i'm kinda rusty afte rthis break of 2 weeks, so sincere apologies if this chappie was trash. lol. i need tow arm up a bit.)