Since the monthly lady recently arrived and kicked me where the sun doesn't shine.
Now in this pool of blood, i present to you a chappie dedicated to those peeps who think tampons make interesting teabags as per the "How to get the girl" chappie.
Vampires
1. How do they approach the love of their lives?
Since they are the creatures of the dark it is only justified that they don't roam around town during the day hours. Since ya know! The sun. Yet, it's kinda ironic how they are often tanned or like to sunbath.
Logical much?
Anyway, they naturally lack social skills. Therefore once they meet the MC, they either:
1. Kidnap her
2. Kidnap her
3. Kidnap her
See! you can just see how diverse they are in terms of getting the girl! Also there are times when the MC "accidentally" sees their very obvious "secret" of being a vampire and then ends up being kidnapped.
The vampire initially tries to intimidate her but it only makes the MC's mind do acrobats and somersaults which results in uhm uhm thoughts and then a blush.
And we all know how it goes from there.
2. Probably a retelling of either vampire diaries or twilight with different characters. Btw, werewolves are mostly the bad guys. But considering that in #Werewolf stories the Vamps are the bad guys, I guess it's justified.
3. Refers to the rest of the world as "foolish mortals" etc and also call werewolves "mutts".
4. High key blood fetish. In nicer words the MC and the Vampires relationship is like your relationship with a juice carton.
Now lets plot a vampire story
Chapter 1:
Edblood is a ferocious vampire. Nobody stands a chance against him. He likes plasma drink i.e blood.
Chapter 2:
Edblood found the love of his life in walmart while he was secretly selling drugs to 5 year olds, Cuz he is the bad guy.
Chapter 3:
Oh no! his secret is revealed! He kidnaps that girl.
Chapter 4:
They both end up marrying each other with 50000000 children.
Chapter 5:
The whole story repeats with their 500000000 children.
the end.
(This chappie was shitty and i prolly sound done with life. I'll do a part 2... but for now Adios.)
Love,
Lizzy
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