Good morning ladies and 3.4% men! welcome to another episode of "how to get the girl" with the most PRACTICAL and Serious advice ever. SO today we have Alpha wolfo and since you can never guess who he is by his name; he is the Werewolf Alpha and he is quite late for this intervi-
The door slams open as wolfo enters, panting and clearly exhausted as he walk right up to a nearby seat and sits down.
Me: Whoa! are you okay? you look exhausted!
Wolfo: (still panting) yeah, yeah i'm fine! just start this session already.
Me: Okay.... so, how to get a girl?
Wolfo: er.... nice question, considering that i got myself a girl just an hour ago.
Me: great! in that case, base your answer on that.
Wolfo: well, you see a girl and if you feel something weird inside, believe that it's the signal from the moon goddess-
Me: who is the moon goddess?
Wolfo: in werewolf fics she is some chic on the moon who is the one responsible for pairing werewolves with their mates. In easier terms she is like that marriage bureau consultant. she just likes to pair up random strangers with lil to no chemistry together and if you defy her ship, she writes a future filled with misery for you and your unsuspecting mate.
Me: damn! she is entitled.
Wolfo: to continue my story/advice i'd like to say that once you feel that tingling you should first stand there and stare at her like a creep and then kidnap her-
Me: hey! that's not okay! you cannot just kidnap her!
Wolfo: well... how am i suppose to mate with her?
Me: well... you can ask her out like a normal person. Don't abduct her like a creep!
Wolfo: umm... but then, how am i gonna add the #werewolf tag?
Me: Hey! that's offensive! werewolf itself is a genre and can be expressed in plenty of ways and it should not be restricted to creepy alphas like you abducting innocent girls who end up falling in love with you because of your manipulative behavior!
Wolfo: I don't understand the language you are speaking.
Me: Damn..its pointless. So anyways, how do you seduce her? Considering that she naturally hates you for abducting her.
Wolfo: Actually, some mean wolf from my pack becomes a bitch or jerk towards her and then BOOM! i pop in and save the day. Plus, i also have a 360000000000000000000000000000000 pack body. So odds are still in my favor.
Me: -_- Okay, and what if she calls 911 or sue you for being a creepy potato?
Wolfo: (Confused look) Which time of girl do that-
Me: There are plent-
Wolfo: On wattpad?
Me: None...
Wolfo: Though, i do treat her like a princess.
Me: after making her cry a bajillion times, mate.
Wolfo: Love is suppose to be beautifully painful. Kudos to Shakespeare.
Me: If you are trying to making your story "painful" then congratulations, fairy princess! my eyes are actually hurting.
Wolfo: Yeeeeee!!!
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Who should be next?
Millionaire?
Good guy?
Vampire dudes?
Anyone else?
pleaseeee voteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. this book is wayyy behind on votes!
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Cliché, Cliché Everywhere
RandomMy lovely Wattpad rant book, focusing on multiple Cliché and over used tropes with enough salt, pepper and olive oil to appease Gordon Ramsay. Ever reach a point in life when every werewolf/Vampire fic you read seems like the one you read earlier b...
