My lovely Wattpad rant book, focusing on multiple Cliché and over used tropes with enough salt, pepper and olive oil to appease Gordon Ramsay.
Ever reach a point in life when every werewolf/Vampire fic you read seems like the one you read earlier b...
"i Am tHE NiCeSt FeMaLe oN THis plAnET anD I dOn'T driNK, nOR dATE, i 'M bETTer thAn Every singLe gIrL ON tHis PLaNET!!1!!! oMg lIKe I AM SuCh A nerD!! Since I LiKe sTaR WArS! anD!1 i hatE MaKUP! i can cook, I cAan Trek, I caN SwIM AND I CA-
SHUT UP Y/N BEFORE YOUR MOTHER SELL YOU OFF TO 1 DIRECTION!
*our y/n shuts up*
Ah Y/N! my favorite character, considering that y/n itself means "your name" and is basically a way to input a reader into the story. Such stories are best found when wattpad teen writers are going through the fifty shades of puberty and instead of going outside and being social with an actual guy... *Deep inhale*.... they opt to ship themselves and peeps reading their book to non existent fictional characters..
umm wait...
why am i exposing myself?
whatever.
though there is nothing bad about fanfctions or self insert ships etc but.... we have Y/N....
*drumroll*
1. The most useless character ever
I get it that you want the girl to be a ball of purity but that doesn't mean that you turn her personality as blank as my mind whenever i see my maths paper. Literally! her friend controls her like crazy and her mum be selling her to boybands and shady millionaires like sacks of potatoes.
really girls?
Moreover, when she meets her one true love, we can see some personality coming considering that she hates the guy for some pathetic reason like "omgg!!1 James charles is so cutttteee!! arrgghh!! i hate him cuz i am attracted to him a bit too much!! UwU"
Plus! there is just so much action going around in the story and then we have our y/n who is either: screaming, laughing or crying over the fact that james charles left her for a straight guy. Everything seems to be just happening randomly and our dear y/n is just there to react. And even if she does jump into action she proves that "SHe iS noT LikE thE OthEr GiRLS." by fighting the big bad villain with her fingernails.
2. She can have thousands of love interests; yet she is not cheating.
Please note that in fanfictions we never have love triangles, rather we have this thing called:
love Rhombicosidodecahedron
wtf is that you ask me?
well, In geometry, the rhombicosidodecahedron, is an Archimedean solid, one of thirteen convex isogonal nonprismatic solids constructed of two or more types of regular polygon faces. It has 20 regular triangular faces, 30 square faces, 12 regular pentagonal faces, 60 vertices, and 120 edges.
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yes folks, literally every single guy from the millionaire till the janitor desire her love. And in such scenario when there are more than 2 lover who are simultaneously trying to earn her affection, we see that instead of being done with choosing one guy, our dear y/n is cream fudging with all guys for the sake of being "nice"
"what do you mean by why am i hanging around with xavier and ryder? and why i went on a date with trump on the very same day? i am just being nice! i can't just refuse them! besides we are just friends! though we do end up kissing and doing the flipity flappity every now and then!"
honey, no....
there is nothing "being nice" about this scenario and it just makes you seem bland and characterless. Also, i do understand why most people reading this book are single. Its because of you Y/N! you stole every single guy!
great! now i know who to blame other than my laziness.
3. Famous parents/ or y/n herself is some celebrity in disguise trying to find a peaceful life.
The author writes it up something like" Y/N was the biggest pop sensation and everyone knew about her but she disappeared overnight. and nobody found her."
wow.
but secretly she moved to a new state where nobody knows about her.
facepalm
you yourself are going contrary to what you wrote earlier.
Plus, the residents in the new state fail to recognize her despite the fact that they be blasting her music in their cars and vans and speakers. Illogical much?
But lizzy! she might have had dyed her hair or changed her look or something!
i would have had bought that if it wasn't for her just wearing a cowboy hat as a guise. literally! nobody notices her while she has some sloppy disguise, but the moment her fake mustache falls off.
paparazzi outta no where:
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