Sirens (Cheryl fanfic)

Chapter 45

I was getting more weaker than what I know I can be. And I'm getting thinner even though I had a full meal earlier that mam bought for me on our way home. She hasn't stop asking me what I want or if I'm okay and I don't really mind at all. In fact, I love it. I missed her. So so much.

I just got discharge from the hospital earlier and they gave me a new set of medicines. Five bottles. Five pills per day. And honestly, i don't want to take them. They're doing nothing to me and they taste terrible.

"We're here." Mum said softly as she turned off the engine. I looked out the window and saw the house and I feel strange. Its like I'm afraid to go in our own house. My mind was going crazy and I'm imagining that when I walk in mam would kick me out.

"Max is there a problem.. Come on let's go inside." I didn't realize that they already got my things and I'm the only one left in the car. Mam opened my door and held my hand as she guided me out and put her arms around me.

Mam hasn't spoke a word since we got out of the hospital and it made me start to think that maybe all of this is just an act for me. So that I don't have to think about it. That mum asked mam to atleast pretend so that I can't be hurt.

"Come on." Mum said snapping me out of my thoughts. They both got in but I just stood outside looking at the inside. I feel like I don't belong here. Like I'm not suppose to be here. Its not my home.

"Maxene..." I look up and saw mam and then sudden flashbacks are flashed infront of me. Events when mam pushed me away. Everytime she kicked me out. The harsh words. The conversation between mum and her. When she made me fly back from California. All of those flashed in front of me. And I'm scared. Scared of what's next.

"Baby..Come inside." She took a step towards me and my body was working on its own as I took a step back. Hurt flash through her eyes but I didn't know what to do. I was stuck with the vision of her when she still doesn't remember me.

"What's happening here." Mum came into view and I just looked at her. She was confuse on what was going on. I am too, on why I'm acting like this. Max, I thought its all okay? Maybe not.

"What are you still doing outside. Come in." Mam said as she tried to reach my hand but I pulled it away.

"Maxene.."

"I can't... I can't do this." I whispered and ran off as I hear calls coming from mam and mum. Why am I feeling this way. Its like I don't want to get near at mam. I feel like the next thing she'll do to me is hurt me physically. Is it because, I took all the hurtful words and the bad stuff thay mam showed me for this past few days that I was thinking it all too much and my mind can only picture mam in that state where she always pushes me away.

I found myself at Nicola's house breathing heavily and I need a paper bag so badly. I stammer to my feet towards the front door and bang on the door. Few seconds later, the door opened and by this time, I was already gasping for air.

"Ma- Oh My God." She pulled me inside and sat me down on her sofa. She left me there as I was slowly laying down the sofa letting out a cough.

"Here, breathe into this." I took the paper bag from Nic's hand and breathe into it and wait for my breath to slow down as Nicola rubs my arm.

"Babe, What happened?" And there and then I burst into tears. As all the event still flashes in front of me. Nicola got up from the floor and lift me up a bit as she sat down on the sofa and resting me on her lap.

"Mmh, Just let it out babe. Just let it out." She whispers into my ear and plant a kiss on my cheek. She starts stroking my hair making calm down a bit.