Her sweet chains

Part 5

Chapter 5

4 months later

As I'd predicted learning to suppress my shifts wasn't easy. Now I had shifted twice the shifts seemed in a rush to occur and I felt shifts beginning several times a day. According to Dean it was due to my wild female hormones. I soon found that when my body began shifting it didn't appreciate being interrupted. I did manage it occasionally by trying to get a grip on my emotions but I wasn't very good at this being used to giving my emotions as much freedom to range as they wanted. While my control was proving difficult initiation was proving to be impossible. I was being given lessons daily which soon were all taken over by Darius, as I was rather emotional and being given an activity that I couldn't do led to me having several tantrums and hence activity involving trying to initiate a shift turned into a lesson on suppressing one. Darius soon took over after a few incidents with my other would be teachers, including Derek who I accidentally knocked out when I whacked him around the head with a rather large tree branch fracturing his skull. Something the other boys found hilarious but unsurprisingly Darius didn't.

Derek hadn't tried to kiss me since my birthday but I often saw him looking at me intently those golden flecks dancing across his irises a far away look in his eyes as if he was reminiscing about it. He had tried to mention it bless him, but every time he tried I either glared so intently he didn't dare, walked away or punched him in the nose, all seemed equally effective . I knew it wasn't the ideal way to be dealing with the issue but I didn't want to deal with the issue and anyway I was still angry with him! We had been best friends for as long as I could remember and he was the one trying to screw it up. He was the one who wanted things to change and I found it exhausting trying to constantly beat him of not to mention the fact that I cared so much for him that constantly being a bitch and spurring his very sweet advances hurt so I didn't want to constantly do it. But whatever it was it cost us our friendship and whatever he felt I didn't and I couldn't deal with it. so I dealt with it the way my very short sighted emotions deemed best, the only response I ever do use- I ignored it. But despite our complete lack of intimacy everyone had still concluded that we were paired up, or would be as soon as I decided to stop playing hard to get and simply confirmed it to them all. I glared, growled and snapped at anybody who suggested this and I ensured I was NEVER alone with Derek any more and I was never affectionate towards him (like I was with the other boys as nobody saw that level of affection as odd) and because Derek was Derek he let me do this, like all the others he was one to let me get my own way. Anyway he seemed perfectly content to wait me out it was if we were playing a subtle game trying to outwit the other just because we both were desperate to win. Yet the rest of the pack didn't seem to understand that we hadn't mated as far as they were all concerned Derek was my mate and all the growling and glaring in the world wouldn't convince them otherwise. I mean it is true that our err... encounter was rather more significant for us than it would have been for humans. Wolves are by nature very faithful our mates are more important than anything especially for the males their females' lives are always placed above their own. And once we pair up with our mates from that point on there is no one else. It just doesn't happen. Especially not for flippant casual sex, so the fact that I was eighteen and still a virgin was not unexpected, as everyone believed I had my mate so once we started having sex that would be it, just Derek for the rest of my life. Derek and Jamie were also err shall I say naïve to the lure of human erm interactions. Well I think Derek was . I knew if I actually asked him he would tell me but I just couldn't bear to as I knew that would produce a very self satisfied sort of smile on his face.Dean wasn't so naïve he was a slut. he seemed to decide on a most unique method of finding his mate, that is he decided the way to find his mate was to sleep with every woman he encountered just once (or twice)and hence if he found his mate he would soon know. But even a loveable slut like Dean would be more than happy to settle down, more than anything he wanted to find his mate and if he did I know he would treat her like a princess and would be faithful for the rest of his natural life. of the other two both my boys had followed the traditional that is Dean type route initially. then Rogers mate had died they had attempted to turn her just over a year ago (its unusual but does happen as sometimes the body rejects the change).the memory still haunted him his eyes had never lost the pain they constantly reflected his pain in the way his irises always contained flecks of gold. This had probably had something to do with why he then began to distance himself from the pack, he had worked outside the pack as a mechanic but after this death he had moved out of the Den and though he was with us for the large part of his free time he had been granted permission to live away from the pack in the nearby town. Carl similarly had believed he had found his mate in a human yet his heart broken by this callous women who I subsequently tracked down and broke her arm. It honestly was accidental but I didn't regret it. I regretted the amount of trouble I got into for it. But not the action it's drummed into us from birth