Her sweet chains

Part 15

Chapter 15

I easily managed to find multiple excuses to not speak to Derek over the next few days. The most effective being that he was still tying to avoid me and I wasn't keen to actually find him so I made a token attempt and then returned to my filing/packing/ last minute desperation shopping. but actually as the days went by a little fear was born in my stomach and grew everyday gnawing away at my insides whispering inside me that time was running out that soon I was going to be gone, and I didn't know what that meant but I knew one thing that I didn't want to leave without even speaking to him, I couldn't even consider it. It was simply soul destroying to be so close to him and yet to have him so distant. The physical closeness seemed to act like a balm I couldn't help but think that when that physical closeness had disappeared I would have real problems and that thought made me just want to scoop Derek up into my arms and kiss him. But of course I didn't I tried half heartedly to talk to him and he knew it, if either of us actually was determined to talk to the other it would happen but no I didn't know what to say so I allowed myself to be distracted by the urgent task of locating my blue sweater and told myself I'd find Derek later.

That's how my last day at home began with me and Derek still not speaking, due to a combination of mutual stubbornness, deep wounds inflicted by the other and a desire to avoid any further pain. I stumbled around that day in a sort of waking coma where I could walk talk and perform all sorts of basic functions but I couldn't force my mind to work I couldn't touch those around me or comprehend what was happening I just sort of felt like I was separated from them all like I was in a bubble or something. Separating me from the one thing I wanted a day with my boys. They were behaving as if today was completely ordinary of course despite the fact that my fees had been paid , had a car and a flat let, me and Jamie had both enrolled in school and were both packed ready to leave in the morning I knew that deep down they all had doubts that we would actually be able to leave and if I'm honest deep down so did I. but our inability to treat this way as any different led to me hanging out all day in the boys house, away from the persistent heavy rain stretched out on the Sofa my long legs slung casually over Dean's lap and my head resting on Carl's knee as we watched 'Classic' films and moved from the sofa only to get a beer or bully Jamie into going to get more popcorn. I knew I should have been spending my time ensuing that I was ready that everything leaving with me was packed and making sure that everything that wasn't was where it should be, but I just couldn't bring myself to . I didn't want to I just wanted to stay here and forget about leaving at least for a little while.

"Up we get princess." Dean said lifting me up into his arms.

"what." I grumbled nuzzling into his warm chest.

"Its time for your surprise party." I groaned,

"But were watching return of the Jedi."

"That finished forty five minutes ago princess." He said softly, I nuzzled closer to him as I felt the cool evening breeze brush over my skin. "Come on wake up." He said jiggling me slightly.

"Do I have to?" I moaned

"Its your party Jess its tradition that your there." Jamie said playfully.

"Isn't it also tradition that surprise parties are you know a surprise." I said opening my eyes reluctantly as we entered the kitchen.

"No it's a tradition that you're supposed to Act surprised." Dean said lightly placing me down on the cold kitchen floor.

"Great." I said rubbing my eyes and making an effort to smooth down my hair, knowing that having been dozing on the sofa for most of the afternoon I must have looked a state.

"You look beautiful." Dean said as if reading my mind grabbing my hand and leading me towards Darius' study.

"Remember." Carl whispered in my ear "look surprised." I smiled placidly as Dean opened the door and the entire pack cheered well most gave an uncertain sort of shout. Kate cheered 'Surprise' and didn't seem to notice that nobody else did. I smiled around at all of them vaguely unsurprised to see that all the smiles directed back at me were fixed and fake, none of them could understand what I was doing so of course none of them were too pleased about me disappearing but Darius had said I could go and we didn't question the Alpha's ruling. My eyes almost instinctively swung to the corner as I could feel an intense glare directed at me from there, and sure enough there was Derek, who was stood stock still glaring at me intently seemingly oblivious to all those around him.