Her sweet chains

Part 59

Chapter 59

I slowly began to awake from my dream of Derek drawn out by the enticing scent it smelt like fast food.

"You better have got me some." I said my voice gravely as I awoke. Zac chuckled as he flopped down on the mattress next to me and held out a greasy paper bag.

"Sorry I had to go Princess I was hungry and you have been asleep for ages." He said slipping an arm over my waist. As his body was pressed into mine, I could feel his body begin to harden. I took the bag from him and after a moments consideration I simply flung the bag aside and kissed him desperate to dismiss those lingering images of Derek from my mind. My phone began to ring loudly. Zac cursed and rolled off the mattress retrieving my phone.

"Lauren." he said holding it out I hastily rejected the call and flung the phone aside.

"Why do you bother with them?" he asked laying himself down alongside me.

"They are assimilation Aids." I said calmly "I was very sheltered at home they have introduced me to the wonders of Alcohol and casual sex."

"Ah right." he said picking at the sheet averting his eyes from mine.

"What?" I asked he just kept his eyes down and shrugged, "what?" Zac took a deep breath and began addressing the mattress.

"I don't like it."

"Like what?" I asked honestly baffled,

"You... with other men. I don't like it." I smiled I couldn't help it I knew I was teasing but I couldn't help it.

"Are you getting possessive?" his eyes snapped to mine flashing gold as he grabbed both my wrists tightly.

"Yes." He said firmly "I am" that simply stuck me completely dumb, "I know we haven't been like a conventional couple but." he sighed and laced his fingers through mine. "I guess that sort of developed and I've kind of got used to having you about. I sort of hoped we would you know become." He snorted again, "You know a little more... exclusive."

"Oh." Said completely thunderstruck by that. Zac smiled,

"I've been ...um... well I haven't been fucking around since ...well since I met you."

"You haven't." he shook his head and reached out to stroke my cheek,

"No I have only been fucking you since we first met." He said innocently

"oh." I said blankly as he reached out and took a lock of hair, which he began to twiddle around his finger before lifting it to his nose to slowly smell it.

"I rather surprised you didn't realise that how could it be anything but Princess? You're the only one that smells that good. Your just edible!" He sighed, "So your not getting any kind of possessive thing, no attachment at all."

"I...I...I do care about you but ...you ...you never...never said that was what you wanted I just I never though about it ... about us like that."

"Again that went well." He said in a deadpan sort of voice. He laughed "good thing I didn't use the L Word huh?" my eyes widened in pure horror at the very thought of that word that phrase, that was what Derek said to me he loved me how could anyone else ever be able to.

"Zac." I said tentatively, he shook his head and released my fingers instead, he leaned over and just pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead.

"Its alright." he whispered playfully stroking my nose "but that thing with your guy that never seems to work right?" I shrugged "so I'm just saying that maybe you should consider that It wont work and maybe consider that you have options." I smiled,

"What an option like you?"

"I'm not suggesting that we get married and disappear into the sunset together I'm just saying maybe we could just." He groaned and rubbed a hand across her forehead, "I don't know go some place else try and have a go at it." He half laughed half-sighed as he flashed me a devastating smile. "I don't do the dating thing I never have but." He shrugged, "maybe I don't know we can try being together not just fucking whenever one of us gets a hard on."

"That's the way it works for us." I said gently.

"Well you said things will have to change I'm just telling you, going home is not inevitable you do have other avenues." he said,

"Zac..." I began having no clue how I would finish that sentence,

"Just think about it." He said I shuffled over snuggling into him, which probably isn't the best idea in that situation. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. It was ridiculous but as I lay there pressed into Zac I imagined what it could be like me and him living as rogues going where ever the hell we wanted whenever the fuck we wanted. But that thought just made something inside me ache. So I lay still and silent until I heard Zac's breathing deepen I slowly slid out from under his arm. Zac groaned and shifted around as I slid off his mattress but thankfully, he didn't wake up. I pushed myself up and began frantically scampered around the empty room retrieving my various hastily discarded items of clothes wincing at the cold stone floor under my feet. I pulled the clothes on quickly and tip toed to the door friezing as soon as my hand made contact with the handle. Sighing I looked back over my shoulder at Zac who was still sleeping, he looked so sweet like that. I couldn't help but smile at him as a bizarre and unexpected wave of fondness swept through me, he could have been the best or the worst thing that had happened to me here the thing was I still didn't know which he was. I sighed again and began looking around the room for a moment before growling in irritation at myself. Without any better ideas, I grabbed a pizza Box from the floor and when a quick scan revealed no pen to hand, I grabbed a lipstick from my bag and scrawled on the back of the box:

I'm sorry but I think I need some time and some space. Please just leave me alone for a while. X

I had added the kiss on impulse I stared at it for a moment wondering if I should cross it out. Finally deciding not too. After all, he had put himself out there and I was being a heartless bitch, again. I just needed some time as clichéd as that sounded I did. I needed some time to re-evaluate pretty much everything that had occurred between the two of us. But the long and short of it was this, he had feelings for me. I had been using him because I thought we were both getting what we wanted and it seems I was wrong but we couldn't stay here forever like this sooner or later the pack would come and if they came he would die. I had thought he was here out of laziness and indifference but I realised now he was still here for me, and for the first time truly considering it I knew I couldn't have his death on my conscience I couldn't live with that. I sighed and sat down on the edge of the mattress gently running my hand along his short blond locks.

"I'm going to miss you." I whispered, "I will come back and explain. Just as soon as I understand." I leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek. I sighed and fought the inexplicable urge I had to curl up next to him and go to sleep pressed into his chest enveloped by his smell. I shook my head and scoffed at this. This time when I walked to the door I didn't look back I kept walking until I was out on the street before I broke into a run. I ran seeing the clarity it gave me I ran the entire way back to my flat.