Her sweet chains

Part 63

Chapter 63

I groaned as I sat up pain shooting through every inch of me , a thick blanket fell Back and I saw I was wearing a large t-shirt I lifted it up and saw the large mass of bandages that were wound around my chest and shoulders. I looked around and almost cried as I realised I was in the basement locked in the cage of course I was. I looked out of the cage and saw Derek sitting outside the bars in a chair his head dropped to the side he was snoring gently. I didn't want to disturb him, so I just laid back down on the narrow bed and silently just let the tears flow.

Sunlight filled the cold basement and vanished again before I saw my father again. Dean had appeared once after a few hours with a grey hoodie a pair of jeans and some thick socks. He had obviously just gone foraging in my room as the socks and the hoodie were Derek's but if anything that just made me more thankful for them. I hadn't thought about Derek on my drive back all my thoughts had been for Ashton his life his safety but now mingled with my concern for his life was a deep pain at the distance which now existed between me and my mate. he woke up as Dean arrived but stood next to the cage silent there was a chasm between us that despite everything I had done had never previously existed I'd seen it in the way he had looked at me too much had changed he couldn't love me anymore, I'd hurt him too much and anyway look at what I'd done now too much had changed, I wasn't the girl he loved anymore. I wished so much that I was but I wasn't. I dozed infrequently through the day but my sleep was light and peppered with Bad dreams. But that was preferable to my waking hours were my mind envisioned hideous punishments for what I had done to Ashton and Zoë, two people I as good as killed in less than twenty-four hours. I coped this way for a few hours but in the end these images tortured me to such a degree that I didn't know what else to do, I felt like such a caged animal. I strode over to the single stone wall the cage was screwed into and began punching the stone. One blow hurt, I hit it again and again and again, as I drew my hand back I saw spatters of blood on the wall .I smiled and clenched my fist and began pounding my fist again and again into the wall, cutting my hand open. Derek watched this with a vague sort of interest but made no move to stop me, thick blood stained the wall in large patches and began flowing heavily down my arms staining my sleeves and dripping down onto the stone floor. After I had exhausted myself this way I simply collapsed to the floor drew my knees up and wrapped my arms around them hugging them close to my chest I sat and watched the shafts of light slide along the stone floor. As Dusk fell I vaguely heard footsteps but was too far away too even look up until I heard Darius voice mutter something to Derek who walked up the stairs.

"Jessica." He said gruffly I lifted my chin, "why did you do this?" he asked softly "you know the punishment."

"I couldn't kill him." I muttered looking at my hands, vaguely surprised by how much blood coated my right hand. "He saw me shift he was afraid and I wasn't in a position to talk it out with him. I couldn't leave him knowing, but I couldn't kill him he's my best friend I love him."

"You have control over your shifts." Darius said firmly "what happened?" I know Jamie doesn't have a clue."

"I...I.." my brain worked furiously Zoë hell I couldn't tell him about what had happened to Zoë without mentioning Zac, and fuck I couldn't tell him about Zac. Fuck I couldn't even tell him the reason I left why my head seemed to be so fucked up, how much I loved Derek, why I'd hurt him like I did. Why I had hurt them all so much just disappearing like that to go back to a university degree that we all knew I was going to fail. "I...I can't tell you." I said gently.

"Jessica that is not optional." He said sternly "you are in a lot of trouble I am trying to save you from what's tantamount to a death sentence but I can't do it if you have absolutely no defence." I bit my lip realising Ashton knew. He could tell them everything he would tell them everything.