Her sweet chains

Part 58

Chapter 58

Two months later

I groaned and padded out into the kitchen.

"Morning darling." Ashton said smiling at me. "You going to come to lectures today?" I groaned as I rubbed my head squinting in the harsh dawn light, as I pulled my bathrobe around myself more tightly. Ashton picked up a mug and smiling he handed it to me.

"Hot Chocolate?" he said, I smiled and took the mug.

"So you got up today huh?" Jamie said from behind me, a lot closer than I had expected so it made me jump. He was dressed in what seemed to be just a towel his hard taut muscles were still damp from his shower his entire body still radiated his intense heat.

"Can you give us a minute Ash?" Jamie asked,

"Sure." He said ruffling my hair playfully before leaving for his room. I sighed and moved over to the counter and hopped back onto it. I sighed heavily,

"Is this going to be the lecture?" I asked playfully. Jamie sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"No because I've tried that. I tried leaving you. I tried talking to you; I've tried being understanding I've tried the tough love. I've tried the lectures. I've tried all I can think of Jess the only thing I have left is to beg."

"Jay." I said reaching out to stroke his hair.

"No, believe me the only other thing I can think of is violence and Derek would break every bone in my body if I allowed you to get a single bruise." I snorted,

"no he hates me now". I said gently, "Besides a good couple blows to the head might be the only thing to penetrate this thick skull of mine." I smiled but Jamie didn't.

"that will never happen but Jeremy Kyle does say its easier to be angry than sad."

"Well thank you for the pearls of wisdom when I decide to take life advice from early morning TV I'll let you now."

"Look Jess I am loosing you and I won't do that without trying everything I can to protect you from yourself and fucking self destructive right now. I mean we both know you saved my life I go home without you and I'm dead anyway."

"I'm not trying you kill myself."

"Then what are you trying to do." I smiled sadly at him,

"I'm trying to forget. I'm trying to make myself feel better. I'm trying to deal with what I chose to do." I said glumly. He wrapped an arm around me pulling me gently just a little closer to him.

"I know how you feel Jess."

"No you don't." I snarled pushing him away from me.

"Okay. I don't know but I was there with you precious I know how hard it was for you, and I saw how you broke your heart. Beside I know how much you love Derek, and I think you'd only just started to realise it when... well. I ...I know what I feel for Emily and tearing myself away from her putting that kind of barrier up between us." He shook his head "I couldn't do it." I smiled sadly at him, and shook my head,

"What else can I do? Tell me." Jamie sighed,

"Tell him, you want to go home but your scared of what he'll say. don't be he'll forgive you."

"Would you?" I hissed, I knew Jamie wanted to say yes but he hesitated just for a second and that was all I needed. I knew the answer anyway, I know my wolves.

"No were done" I said softly. "I'm going to go get ready for class I said hopping off the counter. I don't know why I still went to school at all. The current semester had begun four weeks ago I had been from time to time but I think it was bloody obvious for everyone involved in the Uni that I had no chance of passing this year or going onto next year. But I kept going maybe to keep a little bit of faith from Ashton I needed the hopeful way he looked at me, he was hoping for my salvation like Jamie and I loved having someone who still had some faith in me however misguided I wasn't ready to give that up yet.