Jessamine Dixon lives in the apocalypse

The Day Will Come When You Won't Be//Season 7

I sat there fighting for every breath, they were barely coming through and I kept gasping and the tears kept coming.

I was laying on the ground and I could feel the blood on my face. I could smell it and it made me cry harder.

"What? Was the joke that bad?" Negan asked.

"I'm gonna kill you." Rick told Negan and I couldn't hear anymore talking.

"What? I didn't quite catch that. You're gonna have to speak up." Negan told Rick. There was no talking.

"Not today...not tomorrow...but I'm gonna kill you." Rick told Negan again and I could hear Negan do something with his lips.

"Jesus." Negan said and chuckled softly.

"Simon...what did he have, a knife?" Negan asked and there was a moment.

"Uh, he had a hatchet." Simon told him.

"A hatchet?" Negan asked and I don't know what was so weird about it. I could kill him with a hatchet and I bet he wouldn't find it funny.

I could cut his limbs off with a hatchet and I bet he wouldn't find it funny. I could tie him to a chair and kill his people with a hatchet in front of him, I bet it wouldn't be funny.

"He had an ax." Simon corrected and Negan chuckled.

"Simon's my right hand-hand man. Having one of those is important. I mean, what do you have left without them? A whole lot of work.
Do you have one? Maybe one of these fine people still breathing? Oh. Or did I..." Negan said and clicked his tounge.

It felt like there was a big whole in me and it would never be fixed. I was never going to be okay again. I had nothing to live for and I didn't know what to do.

All I could do at the moment was cry about. But I was going to kill that man and each of his people.

"Sure. Yeah. Give me his ax." Negan said and I could hear footsteps.

"I'll be right back. Maybe Rick will be with me. And if not, well, we can just turn these people inside out, won't we?" Negan asked.

Every part of me wanted to just attack that man until his people killed me. But I couldn't move.

I felt Rick get drug past me and I missed my window.

"I mean...the ones that are left." Negan said and I heard the door shut.

Now Rick was going to die and I didn't stop it.

The tears were still coming and I knew that if I didn't start breathing normally I was going to die too. But at this point I wanted to.

I opened my eyes and Negan was standing in front of Abraham and I let out a sob. Abraham was all the way up on his knees with his hands up.

"Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boys other eye out and feed it to his father, and then we'll start. You can breath, you can blink. You can cry. Hell, you're all gonna be doing that." Negan said.

He brought the bat above his head and smashed it down on Abraham's. I gasped and put my hand over my mouth. 

I tightened my hand so it was muffled sobs. Abraham was on the ground and I started rocking back and forth on my knees.

"Oh! Look at that!" Negan said and Abraham was getting back up. 

"Taking it like a champ!" Negan bellowed and I kept crying. The blood was running down his face and there was nothing I could do, chances are he was too far gone at this point. And like Negan said, if any of us move it's just going to start all over again.