Jessamine Dixon lives in the apocalypse

Still Gotta Mean Something

Gracie was sleeping in my arms and I walked around the house in the quiet hallway. The one where nobody was. Not bodies, not walkers, not the people preparing to leave.

"Please tell me your still down with killing Dwight." I turned around and Daryl was walking down the hallway.

"I gotta ask him a question first." I told Daryl and he sat down in a chair. He was using the knife to take the dirt out of his finger nails.

"You gon ask him if he meant it this whole time?" Daryl asked and I shook my head.

"No, I need to ask about Jenna." I told him and Daryl put the knife down on the table. He looked up at me and had his elbows on his knees.

"I haven't heard about that from you yet, only the others." Daryl told me and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Because it happened, I don't know." I told him.

"I want to hear it from you, I have wanted to hear it from you." Daryl said and I thought about it for a second.

"What do you want to know?" I asked and went back to walking down the hallway.

"Who was she?" He asked and I scoffed.

"That's what I need to ask Dwight." I told him.

"Okay. What happened and who--like I'm just confused." Daryl told me and I walked back to him before saying anything.

"That's why I need to talk to Dwight. There are so many things I don't know. Who she was, why--it's all things I have to ask Dwight." I told Daryl and he looked up at me sadly.

"Tell me what she told you." He demanded.

"I thought you talked to the others about this." I told him.

"I did. But I need to hear you say it." Daryl told me and I thought about it for a second. I put Gracie in the crib and then sat down across from him. I sat forward and put my elbows on my knees.

"The group, your group. They use you. It was mainly Daryl and Glenn. They used you, they used you as somebody to get close to.
They're afraid of you, most of the group is. They feared you, yet they stuck with you. For protection, warmth, survival.
Daryl he just used you as a warm body and somebody who would do anything for him, that's all he needed.
Glenn just wanted somebody to rely on when Maggie wasn't there.
I think that for your mentality so they don't drag you down more, you shouldn't come home.
We may not be able to do anything about Glenn. But we could still do something about Daryl using you.
That was just some of it." I told him and he looked like he might kill somebody.

"You know she was lying. You know that, right?" Daryl asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I mean, yeah...after she admitted it was just to get me gone." I told him and he stood up abruptly.

"You really think we would say that?" Daryl asked.

"You wanted to know about what happened, you never said anything about wanting to know how I felt." I told him and stood up.

"Well I want to know now." Daryl told me and I scoffed.

"It doesn't matter anyways." I told him.

"It does. I need to know that you don't think I'd actually say that." Daryl said.

"I think you'd say a lot. I do not know, okay? Somebody shows up who has actually been watching us, tells me things about my people, what else was I supposed to do?" I asked.

"Kill her." Daryl told me.

"Yeah, I did." I told him and started walking towards Gracie.

"Why do you think I'd say that?" Daryl asked and I took a deep sigh and stopped walking.