The House Of Wolves [Fransykes]

What's The Plan

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"Won't they be expecting us though?" Vic said hesitantly. Josh ran a hand through his hair and turned around in his chair so he could face the others and put his face in his hands.

"They will be, but they will expect all of us" Josh sighed. It's all my fucking fault, I finally drove him away. I can't believe you, Josh. You just don't know how to keep your fucking mouth shut.

"Josh I know what you're saying and the answer is no" Jaime crossed his arms.

"You don't get to make orders. I'm the boss" Josh said.

"We know, but we can't let you go alone" Tony replied. Josh sighed and stood up.

"I'm going alone and that's it, end of discussion" Josh pushed them as a side and walked to his room. "If I don't come back in 4 hours then you can come and get me," Josh said blankly. He hoped that it would only be a quick mission. In and out, with Oli by his side and Jordan's head on a spike.

"Well you at least have to be prepared properly-" Tony said. Josh slammed his bedroom door shut and clenched his fists at his sides. He was so angry at himself. He caused the love of his life to leave him for an even more horrible man. Josh's breathing was fast and his heart was pounding. He blamed himself 100%.

Josh let out a frustrated scream and punched the wall as hard as he could. He broke through the drywall and ignored the pain blossoming in his hand. He punched it again and again and only stopped when his hand began to bleed. He screamed in both anger and pain and collapsed on the floor. He tugged at his hair and screamed as hard as he could. Josh only felt the tears falling when they fell onto his cheeks. Josh sobbed like he had never sobbed before. He cried his heart out and hit his head against the wall.

"Fuck! I can't ever do anything right!" He screamed at himself. Jordan will kill him and its all your fault. You fucked up so bad! You are fucking dumbass!

Josh screamed in frustration again and cried until his throat was raw and he couldn't cry anymore. He rested his head on the wall behind him and stared blankly at the ceiling. His thoughts about Oli were eating away at his mind. He hit his head against the wall to try and silence his thoughts. Josh shakily stood up and lazily walked over to his bed. He fell down onto his bed and bunched up the blankets that still slightly held Oli's scent. He dug his face into the blankets and let the tears fall. 

He didn't sob, he just cried silently, letting the tears fall and soak into the blankets. Josh didn't even want to think about if Oli was safe or still alive. He was going to be honest with himself and say he didn't know, he didn't know if Oli was safe and he didn't know if he was alive. Josh hoped with everything he had that Oli was safe and still breathing but he knew that there we a slim chance of him being unharmed.

The thought made him cry, even more, his heart ached and he tried to ignore the fact that Oli had willingly left him. Josh tried to silence his thoughts with sleep but it was very hard. He didn't want to think about anything and he didn't want to feel anything. Josh fell into a restless sleep alone in his bed, he reached his arm over to Oli's side in his sleep and frowned when he found the spot empty.

******

Josh groaned and shifted around in bed. He hissed at the pain in his hand and sat up. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked at his hand. He winced when he opened his hand, his knuckles were busted open and covered in dried blood. He looked at his blankets to find spots of blood on them. Josh looked at the huge hole in the wall and sighed.