I Am Your Teacher (Severus Snape X Reader)

Hermione (Fred)

I tried my best to walk as quietly as possible up the stairs to the girl's dormitories. I couldn't shake the giddy feeling of joy that had been flooding through me since I was with Fred. I had such a wonderful night with him. It was nice to have gone on a date, of sorts, without feeling like I was doing something wrong. I was coming home tonight feeling joyful instead of dirty. It's a nice change. As I creaked open the door to mine and Hermione's quarters, I was surprised to see her sitting on my bed, wide awake with a huge grin on her face.

"You didn't have to wait up for me, Hermoine." I laughed as I slipped off my jacket and sat on the foot of my bed next to her.

"You're kidding! I couldn't sleep if I wanted to. So how was it!?" I hushed her quiet squeal as I brought my knees up to my chest with a sigh.

"It was brilliant..." I smiled as I watched her happy face turn to one of complete shock.  

"Are you serious? What happened? I want to know everything!" I laughed at her eagerness. I love having Hermione to talk to about these things. It feels nice to finally have a little bit of girl time with all this boy drama going on in my life.

"Well... we almost kissed."

"Shut up!" She whisper shouted at me.

"Shh.." I pressed a finger to my lips while I nodded, a small smile creeping up to my lips.

"Why didn't you?" She asked. The question filled my head with sorrow and confusion.

"Because it's... complicated." I stood, making my way over to my dresser pulling out my sleep ware.

"You didn't kiss him because of Snape," Hermione stated, her voice lost the energetic tone she held once before. I sighed, changing my clothes before heading back over to my bed to join her.

"I can't seem to shake him from my mind. I really like him, Hermione. I like Fred too... But it's just... so different when I'm with either of them." I opened up to her about the way I was feeling. I might as well be honest. Perhaps she can help ease my emotions for a little while. Or even help me make sense of them.

"Different how?" Her curiosity got the best of her. But that's okay. I'm kind of glad she is asking.

"Well, with Severus... It's like I can't control myself when he's around me. I feel like a different

person, more powerful even. It's hard to explain. And... When we are together all we want to do is rip each other's clothes off." As I spoke I didn't mean to ramble on, I didn't realize how much I was telling her about my own private thoughts.

"Okay, gross." She laughed before I continued with what I was saying.

"It also is just so hard with him. We are both constantly worried and on edge that it's like we never really have time to just... be. And then the other day, how mad he was at me. It really made me look at him differently. I didn't like it." I paused for a moment, trying to muster up the courage to say the next words out loud.

"It scared me." I finally said it. I finally got the words to leave my mouth. Severus scared me, in more ways than one.

"I just know he cares about me... As much as I do for him. It's just so stressful. Through our entire relationship, it felt like a rollercoaster. One day he's thinking about our future and then the next day he's talking about how what we are doing is wrong and that we need to end it. But he never seems to be able to stay away from me. I don't know. It's just hard." Hermione and I sat silent for a while as she took in everything I had just told her. I did just basically word vomit everything I was feeling about Severus. Which felt nice. But I can imagine it was a lot to take in. I also can't help but think that maybe Severus didn't mean everything he said that day. That maybe there was a chance he may come to talk to me, apologies. If that were to happen, should I even accept it? Should I walk away and forget about the entire thing? I'm sure that's what would be best for both of us. I... I just don't want to hurt him. I don't want to see that look in his eyes too.

"And how do you feel around Fred?" She asked simply as I took a moment to think about the freckled face boy. I couldn't contain the light smile that tugged at the corner of my lips as I thought of his red hair and rose, tinted cheeks.

"When I'm around Fred... I feel at home. It's relaxing. And I feel like I can be myself around him. I don't even have to hide anything from him. He's so understanding and... fun." I sighed with a smile again.

"I non stop laugh when he's around." Before I could continue my small rant about Fred, Hermione spoke up.

"And what about all that. 'Ripping clothes off' feeling? Do you get that with Fred?" She teased. We both laughed a bit as I pushed her slightly.

"I didn't mean to say that." I laughed some more.

"I know, but really. Do you feel that with him too?"

"Kind of... It's different though. Fred is... Well, he's really romantic. So is Severus, but Fred is the kind of guy who will always put my needs before his own, where I don't think Severus would. With Fred, I don't know. I want to spend time with him, talk, and learn things about him. With Severus its-"

"Lust." Hermione cut me off. I looked down as she spoke the word. Was that all that made up mine and Snape's relationship?

"That's what it sounds like to me. It sounds like you genuinely like Fred and Severus... He sounds... now excuse me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you are experimenting with him. I believe you know deep down it will not last between the two of you, subconsciously, you know it will end. So it's easier for you to have these feelings for Snape because it won't hurt as badly, because you are preparing for it. Because you are preparing for it. With Fred, you want to take it slow, cause it scares you. Because there is actually a future between the two of you that could go wrong if you don't take the right steps." Her words filled my head as I thought about everything Severus and I had been through. Both of us went into the relationship knowing we couldn't have a future together. We both fantasized about the idea, but in reality, it just wasn't possible. I nodded as I rested my head against my knees.

"It's just hard," I said through whispered tones. I feel Hermione rest her head against my shoulder in an attempt to comfort my confused mind.

"I know. But give it time. You'll know what your heart wants in time."

*.~.*.~.*.~.*.~.*.~.*.~.*
Comment, Vote and Follow me, Please. I appreciate your reads! <3 <3 <3