Nanny Dearest

Chapter Sixty Three Letting go

I was currently sitting on the chair with my sleeves rolled up some while my jacket hung on the chair. I looked at Marya seeing the owner of the place tie the brown apron around her. I watched carefully to make sure he’s not getting hands, I squinted my eyes watching them have small talk before she thanked him come over to me. A stool was in front was between my legs as she sat down and I wrap my arms around Marya giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“I told him we don’t need help so we just have to try this with luck.” she said and I raised an eyebrow. 

“We doing this without instructions?” I asked and she nod her head. 

“You kept giving him the death stare so to avoid your little pouts I'll told him we want to wing it." She said and I let out a dry laugh giving her another kiss on the cheek as she open the clay from the wrap and cutting it placing it on the little spinner. I put two and two together dipping my hand in the bucket of water next to us and she did as well.

"He stared to much." 

"It's called making eye contact." Marya smart ass said and I hit her leg not to hard making her giggle a little bit and she started the little spinner while adding some water on the clay and started to slowly making a shape.

"Oh I forgot, not a decent person." I respond chuckling and she suck her teeth leaning against me.

"You are, just do things differently." I smiled a little hearing her say that. 

"Marya." I lean down a bit resting my chin on her shoulder.

"Yes Ruslan?" Her eyes looked over towards me and then look back at the clay.

"You will say we communicate well enough, yes?" I asked and she nod.

"What's on your mind love?" She hummed and I took in a deep breath, it's been long opening up personally let alone I never touched this subject. 

"Being back home is causing painful memories." I said and she slow the wheel down turning her head towards me as she wore a worried expression 

"I'm listening, what's the matter?" She asked me and I stare at her for a good minute. 

"I don't want to talk about it because I should be over this it's been like a year." I started and her expression changed to a soft one. "Being back in Russia is making me uncomfortable on a emotional level that I thought I fixed on my own." I clear my throat.

"You never talked about how her death affected you." She stated which was true.

"Yes." I felt like I had a frog in my throat.

"How do you feel about your wife?" Marya questioned and I raise an eyebrow and she spoke. "Think, it's okay the two of us are alone right now." She gave me a smile.

"Angry… it felt like she didn't try. She was heavily sick and did want to take the medicine. She kept saying she's tired of seeing different doctors I never understood why and still don't fucking know." I bite the inside of my cheek trying to be sensitive especially since I'm in public. 

"You loved hard, have your try thinking about being in her shoes? You have something you can't get rid of and you have a number of days or months left would you rather spend those times enjoying and making good memories with your family or would rather constantly worry about your illness or just counting the days till you pass?" Marya gave me an example. The room fell silent as I thought about it, she has a point but it's not fair at all.

"You can't just leave permanently and expecting everything will be okay." I can hear my voice crack a little watching Marya keep that warm smile on her face. 

"Have you ever thought the last thing she wanted to see was a smile on her husband and son face?" She spoke softly and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"Not until now." I mutter and she reach over holding my hands.

"It's time to let go, did you cry at her funeral?" She asked another question and I shook my head no.

"No, stayed away when they buried her." I squeezed her hand gently.

"When we get home tonight, cry-

"That's weak." I interrupt her.

"You're prideful if anything crying helps with clarity, you held it in over a year. I'm not asking I'm telling you, when we get home we're going upstairs. We're going to listen to music and we're going to cuddle and if you cry you cry." Her tone was soft but demanding we stare at each other for a while before I nod my head in agreement. 

The rest of the date went by slow but I enjoyed myself. The two of us made cups and coming back tomorrow to paint on them, we talked about bring Makar with us so he can have fun too. We shop for the most part, Marya picked a few things out for me but wouldn't let me pay for it myself. She preach that if I spend money on her it's right for her to do the same. Couldn't argue because the woman is stubborn. 

Right now we're in the car on our way back home on the subject on the family business. I have to find someone to fill in Halston place and we're going over about who should replace him. She told me I lost my damn mind when I mentioned Lyanna.

"My sister ain't dumb but let's be realistic here her and Halston basically go out. I know she'll do a fine job but I am concerned with Halston I don't want him falling in a cycle. I don't even know how'd that work." She looked over at me and I stop at a red light looking at her.

"He's banned from being in the lab, they can literally be on the phone why he goes over which chemical to mix in the product. He's basically doing numbers and she following them no harm done." I explained and she gave me the side eye.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow at the end of the day it is Lyanna decision." She smile a little rolling her eyes at me.

 "If we genuinely worry about this we can try it for a week and see how that goes." I leveled with Marya and she nod her head.

"Speaking of this subject did you and Halston worked things out? I asked because you never touch on that subject." She said and I nod my head.

"He's my little brother sadly I do care about his well being plus the dickhead apologize more than once over the phone. He's fine but I still wanna punch the shit out of him." I laugh and heard Marya giggle a little.

"Nice that you can forgive him lovie." She said and I reach over with my free hand grabbing hers and bringing it up to my lips kissing it while my eyes stayed on the road.

"I know, always the mature one." I said and she leaned over giving me a kiss on the cheek. 

"Do you know when he coming home?" She asked and I had to think for a quick second.

"I think next week, his behavior became good besides the whole him Lyanna incident so we made an arrangement to get him out a week early." I told her and she hummed nodding her head. 

I feel like my stay in Russia is going to be long.

An: hi I wanted to thank you all for the blessings and wanting me to be okay. I couldn't wait to December to give yall a chapter. I hope you like this short chapter and I'm glad to say I'm back. Love you all and thank you so much for the support