haikyuu reacts to ships

Suna x Atsumu

(A/N - this was requested by @bokutos_hooter !)

Osamu: Dude what the fuck I literally told ya I liked him-

Suna: What?

Osamu: iiiiiiin high school which was many years ago so it doesn't matter an' I don't care whatcha guys do. Go on dates. Do more than going on dates. Take it to pound town-

Atsumu: Yer makin' it worse.

Osamu: I know I can't stop. send help.

Atsumu: no i like watchin' ya flop around uselessly like a dead fish.

Osamu: I Have No Brother.

Saeko: They look so wrong together it's just...off-vibes.

Sakusa: gross.

Atsumu: Oh what the fuck is it now?

Sakusa: i actually like Rintarou.

Atsumu: WHAT SO YA LIKE EVERYONE IN MY LIFE EXCEPT ME.

Sakusa: finally you're getting it.

Atsumu: I-

Sakusa: Rintarou is quiet, he makes little fuss, and his favorite pastime seems to be making fun of you.

Atsumu: right. i forgot yer literally the same person.

Bokuto: Ooohhhh Tsum-Tsum, is it ever weird for you that you and your twin brother get shipped with the same people?

Atsumu: yes it's one a the things i hate most about this world.

Yachi: Is No One Going To Talk About Last Chapter-

Hinata: I think we've unanimously decided to pretend that never happened to spare ourselves anymore ✨emotional pain✨ than necessary :D

Bokuto: AGREED MOVING ON-

Meian: then why is Akaashi still here? I mean, dude, you're a good guy but Bokuto literally can't stop getting distracted by you.

Akaashi: I have three more days until i have to go back to seattle. I'm sorry.

Shion: You don't sound sorry.

Akaashi: Thats because my apology was entirely insincere. I enjoy spending time with Bokuto-San.

Barnes: Well, at least he's honest.

Aran: Can we get back ta the real issue at hand which is that Suna would probably murder Atsumu?

Suna: he's right.

Osamu: In the literal decade that we've known each other, Rin an Tsumu have only been alone for more than half an hour three times. The first two times ended with Tsumu getting a black eye and the last with both a them goin' ta the ER.

Atsumu: ITS NOT MY FAULT HE PUSHES EVERY ONE OF MY BUTTONS ON FUCKING PURPOSE.

Suna: ITS MY ONLY FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT BECAUSE ALL YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS "Omi-Kun~" "Omi did this" "Omi wore a hair clip today" I DON'T FUCKING CARE.

Atsumu: WE COULD TALK ABOUT VOLLEYBALL IF YA DIDN'T TRY TA PROVE YER TEAM IS BETTER THAN MINE EVERY DAMN TIME. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A COMPETITION.

Suna: OH I'M MAKING IT INTO A COMPETITION-

Komori: At least he talks to you.

Suna: oh shut up 15,500 or your value will drop.

Komori: whAT?

Suna: yen. that's how much you're worth.

Komori: SERIOUSLY? THATS LITERALLY A HUNDRED AND FIFTY AMERICAN DOLLARS. THAT WOULDN'T EVEN BUY A GUCCI SWEATER.

Suna: then it's a good thing i don't wear gucci. and don't act so offended. you're on the high end.

Kita: do ya have monetary values fer all yer friends?

Suna: yeah. obviously. yours is 16,000 yen.

Kita: smart.

Atsumu: wHAT?!

Suna: yeah, you're probably right. you wouldn't like yours.

Atsumu: THIS IS WHY OUR RELATIONSHIP IS A MESS-

Suna: I told you we wouldn't work.

Unicorn-Flowers: Okay, well that's just lovely. Can we get some numbers for this? I'm banning Suna and Atsumu from rating this, but otherwise, go wild.

Yachi: 3/10, like, i guess it's feasible considering their history together, but it just feels like he chose the wrong twin-

Atsumu: ouCH-

Yachi: I JUST MEAN HE REALLY VIBES WITH OSAMU-

Hinata: I think they'd be nice! But I do think Tsumu-San would have a lot more to complain about haha! 7/10.

Bokuto: 8/10! I feel like they would work because they already know each other super well!!

Akaashi: I beg to differ.

Atsumu: Okay But Ya Can't Just Walk In here, Steal Our Spiker, Start Cryin', Stop Cryin', An Percieve To Know Everything About Me-

Bokuto: 'Kaashi minored in psych!

Atsumu: i hate this family.

Akaashi: No you don't-

Atsumu: GET OUT of my HEAD you MIND WIZARD-

Unicorn-Flowers: Alrighty! What a lovely way to get back into a normal groove! You guys are curing my Morbid Hopelessness™!

Yachi: not mine ಥ_ಥ

Unicorn-Flowers: That's just because you're a sweet sensitive bean luv 💖. We all love you for it.