haikyuu reacts to ships

Kuroo x Tsukishima / Kurotsukki

Tsukki: Gross. No. Look I'm not even gay-

Yamaguchi: You're not...?

Suga: Tsukki, would you like to rethink your answer?

Kuroo: I'm gonna have to say no to this one as well. i don't know, it's not like it's unrealistic or anything, it just feels totally wrong. Like dating my mean younger cousin...

Tsukki: You have a really warped idea of what our realtionship is actually like. 

Kuroo: really? please, enlighten me.

Tsukki: it's more like me being so far out of your league I'm on another planet-

Kuroo: Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. Author-Chan do you see the problem here?

Unicorn-Flowers: Look, i've sold all of my heart and soul to Kuroken, but Kurotsukki is a legit ship so we do have to cover it. Like ripping off a band-aid-

Tsukki: I'd rather drive an ice pick through my ear. 

Kuroo: I mean, maybe not that extreme but I feel the same way. Like, I could like him if he got a full personality transplant, but he's kind of stuck with the one he has so...

Tsukki: if we're ignoring my personality then what the fuck else does that leave?

Kuroo: Well, your body is a solid seven out of ten. Like good but also you're a string bean. But your face, now that's got quality proportions. 

Yamaguchi: true, Tsukki's face is *chef's kiss*. 

Tsukki: I feel like I should be insulted. But I also just got called hot twice so, I'll take the win. 

Hinata: EW TSUKKI NO GROSS KUROO YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER. 

Kenma: he's right. 

Akaashi: I don't know, Kuroo and Tsukshima sort of had chemistry-

Bokuto: akaashi no-

Akaashi: Bokuto-san, with all due respect, you weren't the one watching them practice during training camp. 

Bokuto: YES I WAS! I WAS LITERALLY THERE.

Akaashi: no, you were talking to me. You paid no attention to them.

Bokuto: That's not- Wait, so all those times I was talking to you you weren't even listening?!

Akaashi: um...well, only like fourty percent of the time-

Bokuto: BUT YOU WERE TALKING BACK-

Akaashi: it's not hard. all i have to do is occasionally say "yes, Bokuto-san" and you fill in the rest yourself...

Bokuto: OUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP IS A LIE-

Akaashi: bokuto-san...

Akaashi: I feel bad...

Kuroo: you should that was mean.

Atsumu: What the fuck happened?! Bokkun is fuckin' cryin'?!

Hinata: SOMEONE FIX HIM HE'S LYING IN A PUDDLE OF HIS OWN TEARS THE HUMAN BODY DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THAT MUCH WATER IN IT-

Yaku: can we get back on track? 

Unicorn-Flowers: Wow, Yaku actually taking an interest. I'm proud of you.

Yaku: no people are whining and it's annoying as fuck.

Unicorn-Flowers: ah..i should've known. anyway, can we hear from some karasuno guys other than Hinata?

Yamaguchi: no i might start crying.

Unicorn-Flowers: fair enough. Moving on?

Suga: they are at the perfect height-ratio for making out seeing as they're literally the same height. 

Yachi: I really like Kuroken but this is also so cute I feel so torn!!

Daichi: I didn't know Tsukishima was capable of loving another human being-

Tsukki: I have a brother you ass!

Unicorn-Flowers: yes Tsukki and your brother is a fucking treasure, but this is running long. Can we get ratings real quick?

Yachi: 7/10 

Daichi: 5/10 if Kuroo manages to make him a better person. Good luck with that.

Tsukki: one, fuck you Daichi. Two, 0/10. Kuroo is a bitch. i insult him a few fucking times and he goes crying to Kenma. 

Kenma: you called him a worthless sadsack. 

Tsukki: EVErYONE IN MY WORLD IS A WORTHLESS SAD SACK. Except Tadashi. He's a treasure. I'll cut a bitch. 

Kuroo: was the cut a bitch part just to seem tough. 

Tsukki: you're a bitch. i'll cut you-

Unicorn-Flowers: oKAY. I'm ending this here please and thank you Tsukki you need to get your personality rexamined but otherwise have a lovely day and see you in the next chapter!