haikyuu reacts to ships

Atsumu x Kageyama / Atsukage

Sakusa: disgusting. 

Yachi: YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOUR PRETTY SETTER FOUND ANOTHER PRETTY SETTER INSTEAD OF YOU-

Sakusa: i live in a state of constant torment. gods above grant me mercy and strike me down with a bolt of lightning so i may be granted a painless death.

Atsumu: okay, super dark but i'mma pretend like that was Omi's version a bein' jealous. Anyway, Kageyama is hot, but I'm pretty sure Shouyou's got him on lockdown.

Hinata: WHAT NO-

Osamu: Are ya sure ya don't wanna date him 'Tsumu? He's pretty yummy.

Atsumu: haha simp-

Osamu: I shoulda eaten ya in the womb. 

Atsumu: uno reverse.

Osamu: Y'can't use uno reverse as an actual comeback y'fuckin' doof.

Atsumu: I just did. Also Bokkun is still broken can someone get on this?

Unicorn-Flowers: Wasn't akaashi supposed to fix that seeing as he's the one who caused it?

Akaashi: I'm in Seattle what do you want me to do?!

Atsumu: Make the fuckin' trip because we can't get him off the fuckin' floor!

Akaashi: you really think I'm going to spend an inordinate amount of money on a plane ticket just to go all the way back to Japan so I can cheer up my best friend who I may have accidentally put into a comatose state because I told him I occasionally didn't listen to him in high school?

Atsumu: YEAH.

Akaashi: you're right I'll be there in fifteen hours. 

Atsumu: Anyway, in response to yer question dearest brother of mine, yes, I would totally be up for datin' Kageyummy - yer words not mine - if I knew anythin' about his personality beyond the fact that he invented bone structure. 

Hinata: WAIT BUT WHAT ABOUT OMI-SAN?!

Atsumu: obviously my deep an' unabiding love for OmiOmi is an unbreakable an' eternal force. But, since Omi-Kun hates me I've elected to keep my options open. 

Yachi: do you understand how sad that makes me?

Atsumu: I"M SORRY. I'M NOT LIKE BOKKUN I CAN'T JUST STAY HUNG UP ON THE SAME PERSON FER SIX YEARS.

Osamu: it's seven. ya've liked him since y'were sixteen.

Atsumu: well fuck you too 'samu. 

Hinata: WAIT SO YOU ARE DATING KAGEYAMA?!

Atsumu: Do i have yer blessin'?

Kageyama: Why do you need Hinata's blessing to ask me out?

Ushijima: I think this is his way of insinuating that you two are in some sort of relationship where you are subservient or under Hinata's watch. 

Atsumu: oh my god, so many parts a' that interaction to comment on. it was like watchin two robots try to talk about love- 

Yachi: what I got from that is "Kageyama's a bottom."

Atsumu: Yes yes that too. very good young padawan. yer learnin'.

Daichi: Stop teaching Yachi how to pull sexual inuendos from inane conversations.

Suga: Yachi I didn't raise you this way. 

Yachi: I'm sORRy MoM- I MEAN SUGA-

Unicorn-Flowers: SUGA DON'T RUIN THIS WHOLESOME FRIENDSHIP DYNAMIC FOR ME I SWEAR TO GOD-

Hinata: SO ARE YOU FREAKING DATING OR NOT?!!?!?

Tsukki: why? are you jealous? hmmm? 

Hinata: I'M NOT JEALOUS I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW OFTEN I'M GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH THEM MAKE OUT IN FRONT OF ME.

Kuroo: Sounds like jealousy to me.

Hinata: I'M NOT-

Yachi: guys guys, careful. You have to tread lightly. Hinata's fragile. You don't want to break his little heart. 

Atsumu: ^^ it's true he cried when we watched Love Actually as a team.

Hinata: IT'S A HEARTWARMING STORY- 

Unicorn-Flowers: okay okay, guys, you've teased Hinata enough. Why don't we get some ratings and rap this up? oh yeah i also have to do a shoutout: this is for sahirah6 btw.

Atsumu: 7/10, I mean, I love ya Omi but Kageyama's hot until ya decide to date me. 

Sakusa: literally never going to happen.

Osamu: 9/10 'Tsumu deserves better than ya Kiyoomi. Fer shame ya bitch. 

Hinata: 1/20-

Unicorn-Flowers: it's actually a scale of ten so if you could just-

Hinata: ONE OUT OF TWENTY. WHY ARE THERE NO CAPITAL NUMBERS.