haikyuu reacts to ships

Special Chapter: They Read 'In Another Life'

(A/N ~ okay so this was requested by someone a while ago, but i haven't yet searched the entire book for the comment yet. i literally just read this last night and i needed a chapter to remind myself that canon bokuto is happy, healthy, and a l i v e.

Warnings for this chapter:
- this is incredibly self-indulgent
- this will be longer than a normal chapter
- for the Pain™ this absolutely is a vent chapter
- i wouldn't blame you if you skip it
- i'm so sad ಥ﹏ಥ.)

Unicorn-Flowers: okay did you all do the assigned reading?

Yahaba: why the fuck would you make us read this- It- I-

Unicorn-Flowers: are you feeling some ✨emotions✨ ?

Yahaba: *voice cracking* n O-

Yachi: I WOULD SAY IM FEELING SO MANY THINGS BUT I AM NOT IT IS JUST SADNESS. UNENDING FOREVER SADNESS. I WANT TO DROWN MYSELF IN MAPLE SYRUP JUST TO FEEL HAPPY AGAIN.

Saeko: you ruined my no crying streak. i went three fucking years-

Kuroo: This is the worst thing I have ever read. Literally fucking kill me. I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU BO.

Kenma: neither would i, contrary to popular belief.

Yalu: Kenma are you crying?!

Kenma: no i...ate something really hot.

Kuroo: He's a horrible liar, he made me hold him like a baby while he curled up into a ball and sobbed.

Kenma: i'm officially breaking up with you platonically.

Tanaka: *sobbing* HOLD ME NOYA.

Noya: *sobbing harder* ONLY IF YOU HOLD ME.

Kiyoko: before you ask, yes, this is one hundred percent normal.

Daichi: *sniffle* y-you don't even know these guys personally.

Noya: RYU'S A VERY COMPASSIONATE SOUL- AND SHUT UP MR. I'M CRYING LIKE A NINE-YEAR-OLD.

Daichi: THIS IS A MANLY FUCKING CRY IM ALLOWED TO BE SAD-

Suga: Guys, Asahi melted, he's fucking gone. Author-Chan you killed him. You killed my friend what the fuck-

Unicorn-Flowers: I DIDN'T WRITE IT I'M JUST DOING THIS SO ALL OF YOU CAN SUFFER WITH ME-

Asahi: *incoherent blubbering noises*

Oikawa: ಥ‿ಥ i'm fine. this is fine. i'm okay.

Iwa: he's literally seconds away from a mental breakdown.

Oikawa: SHUT UP I JUST WANT TO LAY ON AND FLOOR AND CRY IN PEACE.

Iwa: I told you.

Mattsun: Why aren't you crying about this? It hurts me more than falling down three flights of stairs and I've done that before.

Makki: yeah it was really bad he had to get surgery and stitches and shit. but this was worse, like, my soul has been ground into dust and thrown into the endless void of time worse.

Iwa: Because I actually have a grip on my emotions? Like yeah I feel for them, but if I cried over everything remotely sad I'd be...

Mattsun: Oikawa?

Makki: Oikawa.

Yahaba: oikawa?

Kyoutani: Oikawa.

Oikawa: I hate you guys.

Unicorn-Flowers: I love you guys but can we hear from like...I dunno the people in Bokuto's immediate circle?