One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 60

Gwen can't help but laugh into her hands as she watches Sirius jumping into the oncoming waves.

He was chest deep, she'd insisted he stay in the space before the first sand bar. And she'd been reluctant in letting him go.

But watching him laugh and hoot and holler and be free was worth the rising fear she held. She continued to repeat to herself that her mother hadn't drowned, that the water hadn't done anything. But the crashing waves were still a white hot knife of betrayal in her back.

She hadn't swam. She'd tried, as soon as she'd gotten back to the cottage, getting up to her mid calve before retching into the ocean from the rising panic. She'd tried to be brave, tried to remember Sirius' encouraging smile and kind eyes. But the grey orbs turned to unseeing white as soon as she slept, nightmares terrorizing her for days after. She hadn't ventured out past the tiny tide pools in the sand since then.

So she kept to the shore, the damp sand where the tiniest of waves brushed her skin. She dips her hand into the wet sand, letting it drip down onto built up mounds a little higher where her castle would be safe from the sea.

She smiles to herself when she hears splashing close by, Sirius trying to wade through the shallow water up to her. The Veela lets out a shriek of surprise when cold, wet skin suddenly presses to her back, making her arch away.

"Sirius!" She cries, trying desperately to be angry as he throws his head back and laughs. His shoulders are already tinged pink from the sun, and she has to quickly turn back to her castle before she becomes entranced by the water droplets rolling down his muscular chest. He presses up against her again, warming his skin with her own as he mumbles in her ear,

"What are you doing, Ninnie?"

She feels slightly flustered by his proximity, the playfulness. He's completely uninhibited here. Free. She shudders slightly when a drop of water rolls down her back, her hands scooping up more sand to suppress her urge to turn around and snog him.

"I'm reading," She says flatly and Sirius grins against the skin of her shoulder, trying not to laugh at her voice laden with sarcasm. He teases, playfully tugging at the short hairs that escape her hair tie,

"You know how to read?"

The Veela scoffs below him and he chuckles, scooting off to the side so he can see her face. He notes the way her lips are twitching but he refrains from saying anything, instead watching her methodically let sand and water drip from her hands to form odd and misshapen towers. His heart clenches at the serenity on her face, and while he's a tiny bit afraid...he decides to test his luck.

"Want to come swim?"

Her hands tremble slightly when she scoops up more sand to grow her drip castle. Her eyes flicker up to his briefly, only a flash of blue before she says uncomfortably,

"It's late."

A year ago—a month ago even he might've stopped pushing. He'd seen what the water and visions of her mother could do to her. But he can see the longing in her eyes as she rinses her hand in the coming tide, freeing it of sand. He presses on, voice level,

"Let's try."

Gwen sits back on her heels, throat bobbing as she looks up the beach, eyes above his head and unfocused as she says wearily,

"Sirius—"

He shifts to his knees so she's forced to look at him. He looks calm, confident. Her heart aches, though if it's for the ocean or to run away from it she's not sure. He must see the way her breathing has gotten shallower because he grabs her hand and presses it to the skin above his heart. Steady. He murmurs firmly,

"I've got you, Ninnie. Let's try. Just a little."

Sirius' soul aches at the battle written across her face. To try or not to try. He waits patiently, squeezing her hand. She finally lets out a hesitant and quiet, "Okay."

Sirius smiles slightly and nods before he stands. He gently pulls her to her feet and says quietly, "Just watch me, Okay?"

She nods her head once, curt and fearful. Sirius tries not to gawk when she slides her shorts off her legs, revealing bottoms that match her swim top. He curses himself internally. This was serious, no time for staring at her tanned legs.

Gwen takes a deep breath and keeps her eyes on his as he slowly backs into the water. Her panic rises as the water does, and when it gets to her calves she has to swallow down bile. It's not as cold as she remembered, but it still caused goosebumps to appear across her body

"I've got you," Sirius insists, his hands still holding hers tightly. He lets go of one at a time to grab behind her elbow, his heart clenching when she quickly grabs onto his bicep. He takes another step back, watching her for any sign that he should stop. Her eyes close as the water reaches her knees, and Sirius notes that she takes a deep breath in every time a wave crashes at their legs and then onto the shore. She looks torn, terrified and slightly determined. An encouraging sight, despite the fear he could feel simmering around her.

"A little more," His voice is soft, but still steady. Gwen nods once, holding his arms tighter as it grows harder for her to swallow. She breathes out. Mid thigh. She hadn't been this deep in the ocean since she'd swam to grab her mother's floating wand, snapped in half.

He takes one more step back, a larger wave crashing into his back. She panics, eyes flying open as water sprays her face. Her hips were covered by the water now, the waves teasing the skin below her belly button.

"That's enough," She croaks out quickly, her grip on his arm impossibly tight. She had to be hurting him. But when she looks at his face she only sees him smiling, eyes shining with pride and something else that makes her feel brave. She feels brave. She sucks in another shuddering breath, silent as he carefully pulls her in closer, his hands cupping her shoulder blades.

Sirius keeps his hands on her, noting the way  the skin around her eyes grows tight and the way her throat bobs every time he shifts. He watches as, slowly, the terror leaves her eyes and is replaced with something else entirely. She looks relieved, at home. But then another larger wave crashes into his back and his footing falters. She scrambles close, latching onto him and saying shakily,

"Okay. Okay I'm done."

Sirius nods, guiding her legs around his waist and wading back to shore. She clings to him, her arms and legs tight around him, her face hidden in the crook of his neck. Sirius leaves the damp sand and stands on the powdery white that shows no hint of water. He runs his hand up and down her back slick with salt water, murmuring,

"You did it. Good job, Gwenyth."

She shakes slightly in his arms, unsteady on her feet when she finally untangles herself from him. Her smile is faint, eyes distant as she whispers,

"Thanks. I'm..."

Sirius waits as she trails off, smiling encouragingly. She sighs and finally says quietly,

"I'm gonna go start dinner."

Sirius watches silently as she collects her things, hurrying up the path silently. He prays that he didn't just cause her more pain, praying that some good would come of her finally embracing the ocean.

Sighing, he grabs his clothes and starts to follow, the waves seemingly calmer than they were before.