One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 89

Sirius hums quietly to himself, brows furrowed as he tries to understand the bloody thing he's reading.

He's flipped it upside down like he's supposed to, but he reckons only Xenophilius Lovegood truly knows what is written. He finally sighs and tosses it aside.

"Shouldn't you be off in a broom closet somewhere?"

Sirius nearly flies out of his seat, clutching at his rapidly beating heart as he looks at Gwen. Her pale eyes are flat on him, her face unmoving. He curses, sighing, "Fucking hell, Inferi. Do you have to scare me like that?"

Gwen looks away first much to his surprise. She stares at the curtains, trying to decide if the ocean sounds she can hear in her mind are calming or suffocating. She wasn't scared of the water anymore. Not really. She was scared of ending up like her mother.

"What happened to your leg, Ninnie?"

She doesn't look at him, her heart clenching from his concern. She shrugs and mutters nonchalantly, "Can't say."

She can practically feel him frowning. Sirius Black commands the energy of every room he's in, moulding it and shaping it to fit his moods, his expressions, his desires. His curiosity, his frustration is palpable. And a self destructive part of her wants to piss him off, to upset him. If it's over now, before they've said anything too intimate, than perhaps she can stave off more hurt.

"Would you look at me please?" Sirius asks quietly. Gwen is surprised to hear the patience in his voice. She wonders briefly if he's always been patient, if she's only realizing it now. She sighs and glances at him, butterflies erupting in her stomach at the sight of his silver eyes. Like unyielding steel sometimes, otherwise soft like charcoal or graphite.

She looks away.

"It's a burn," She confesses, cursing herself for trusting this boy. For loving this boy. "I...I guess I managed to use fire yesterday."

"What?!" Sirius asks incredulously, scooting his chair closer to the bed. They'd only briefly mentioned the possibility of this before. And while he knew she'd been trying to understand, to utilize her magic, he didn't know she was so close to achieving something so big.

Gwen hesitates before explaining warily, "It wasn't as graceful as I'd imagined it to be. I was practicing with Dumbledore and...it kind of just exploded in front of me. Like a pitiful firework. I thought it would be pretty, warm. No such luck."

His heart clenches at how disappointed she sounds. He'd never heard her sound defeated before. He prays to whoever is listening that he doesn't have anything to do with it, but he knows better.

"Ninnie," He whispers, reaching for her hand. It hurts when she pulls away. And he wants to be mad, wants to express his frustration. But he knows that's what she's looking for. So he won't show his hand, not when she's always a step ahead.

"I didn't know," Sirius mumbles, instead settling his fingers on the ankle of her non injured leg. His fingers trace the edge of her midnight blue socks, his voice soft, "I didn't know that it was bothering you. My past. I didn't think about it. And I'm sorry."

Gwen melts at the sincerity of his words, her cheeks flushing. Embarrassed. Yes, she was feeling a whole lot of that now. Her hands slap over her face, hiding from him. Her cheeks only get warmer when she hears a tiny chuckle coming from him.

"Ninnie," Sirius cajoles, circling patters around her ankle with his index finger. He smiles slightly when her voice comes out muffled behind her palms,

"I'm such a prat."

"No," He replies ruefully, smiling and reaching up to gently grasp her wrists. She reluctantly lets him lower her hands as he continues, "You're not a prat."

She looks at him knowingly and he shakes his head, laughing and insisting, "You're not! If anyone is the prat it's Prongs!"

Gwen offers up a hint of a smile and relief floods Sirius, his heart warming when she interlocks their fingers and rests them on her lap. Sirius hesitates before saying quietly, "Not all of its true you know."

Gwen quirks a curious brow, tilting her head to the side. Sirius glances over her twitching lips and messy hair and decides that he definitely likes looking at Gwenyth best when she's fresh from sleep, still mushy and warm and adorable. He clears his throat and continues, "Lots of girls just say they've snogged me. Don't get me wrong...I've done things I'm not proud of. But a lot of them are made up. I never cared to call attention to it, figured it just made me look cooler."

Gwen blinks, surprised by the vulnerability. He looks uncomfortable, embarrassed even. She sighs and mumbles, "It wasn't fair of me...it isn't fair of me to be upset about that. I mean I am, it makes me feel rather ill thinking about shagging you in the same place that you've been with some other girl. But I've been with boys before you. And you've never been angry. Jealous, yes. But never truly upset."

Sirius grins a little, barking out a laugh and replying, "Of course I get bloody jealous! I get so mad I can't even think straight when someone mentioned Jonathan Wood. Fuck, I get mad when James hugs you for too long. But you're with me now. That's good enough for me."

Gwen's smile grows and she nods, whispering warmly, "I'm with you."

Sirius reaches up and gently pushes back some of her unruly hair. His throat grows tight, emotions filling him with a swirl of uncomfortable sensations. His stomach flips, his heart races.

"I'm yours, Whitlock. As long as you'll have me. I'm yours."

Gwen opens her mouth to reply, but he cuts her off, insisting firmly,

"And I've never taken you to some place that I've been with someone else. James is right, that was usually a broom closet or a bathroom. You...classrooms and quidditch tents and astronomy towers and beds. That's just you."

Gwen grins a little, embarrassed by how pleased she feels. Perhaps she'd been waiting for this reassurance, needed it. Her anger had certainly spurred her sudden blip of magic yesterday, her fingertips and skin smoking from the odd explosion. Dumbledore had even looked stunned, especially when they'd both seen her red leg, burnt from her own fire. It was progress though.

So was this.

"You've never had another girl in your bed?" She asks, unable to hide the joy in her voice. Sirius smirks and nods, gently tugging on a strand of her pearly hair.

"That makes you happy?" Sirius questions, letting his fingertips linger behind her ear. Gwen almost doesn't answer, but he's been so honest and open. She nods quickly, the grin she receives making the embarrassment worth it.

Sirius chuckles, leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek and mumble, "It makes me happy too."

His eyebrows raise in surprise when she turns her head and gently connects their lips for a kiss. It's soft, slow. He groans quietly and leans in for more but she's rearing her head back and gasping, finger jabbing into his chest accusingly,

"You ate my acid pop!"

Sirius grins sheepishly, wincing when she pokes him again. He grabs her finger, winking and kissing her hand as he says simply,

"I'll buy you more on our date."

"You better—our what?" Gwen stammers awkwardly, blinking at him in surprise.

He has to try to not celebrate this victory, surprising her this much. Her eyes grow wide and her lips part and it takes everything in him to not tackle her onto the bed and kiss the life out of her. He'd never tire of seeing her reactions.

Gwen's heart stops beating. She reminds herself to breathe. This is foolish, he was already her boyfriend so a date should mean nothing. But it does mean something. It means everything.

So she can't hide her smile, can't swallow down her excitement when he confirms smoothly,

"Our date, Whitlock. It's about time I take my girl to Hogsmeade."