One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 176

{{ <3 }}

Sirius watches quietly from the corner of the deck, eyes canvassing the garden.

He can't help his chuckle at the sight of Lily and James talking animatedly, her hand waving wildly in the air with excitement, the light bouncing off her pretty new ring.

He tears his eyes away, briefly glancing at where Peter is sneaking more food before he sees Regulus and Remus swaying back and forth to the soft swells of music.

"Alright, love?"

Sirius doesn't look when Mia Potter comes to stand at his side, he just nods, his throat growing tight. Alright. He was alright, even if he wasn't okay.

"Sirius," She says firmly, earning his full attention. His head bows when he turns to face her, mumbling quietly, "I'm sorry, Mum."

Mia grabs one of his hands, her thumb pressing into the center of his palm. His shoulders grow lighter at the motherly action, her warmth and kindness soothing his panicked state. He reluctantly looks at her, seeing only understanding in her hazel eyes.

And for a moment he wishes that they could freeze time, stop the grey appearing more and more everyday in her hair, the wrinkles around her eyes. He wishes that Mia Potter would always be by his side to help him weather the storm when no one else could. He'd always needed a parent to see something in him. Anything. She had. Her and Fleamont.

She chuckles quietly and asks, "Can I get you another glass?"

Sirius shakes his head, glancing down at where his glass had been full of champagne moments before. He liked the alcohol, the fizzy bubbles that warmed his chest. But he was afraid he liked it too much. Mia and Fleamont insisted on celebrating James and Lily's engagement, and the Potters were nothing if not good at party planning.

The garden was glowing with warm light, the last dregs of summer humidity keeping them warm under the night sky. Sirius refused to look at the stars, refused to look at the heavenly waters above. The only heaven he wanted wasn't here. Maybe he did want that second drink.

Mia smiles at where Regulus and Remus are dancing, her eyes growing teary as she whispers, "I always wanted a big family."

Sirius looks down at her in surprise, a reluctant grin quirking his lips as he pulls her into a hug. He squeezes her tight, mumbling, "We love you, Mum. All of us."

Mia scoffs, hurriedly pulling back and wiping away her tears. She pats him on the shoulder, smiling wobbly before scooting past him to return to her husband.

Sirius doesn't have to stand alone for long, this time a tall girl with midnight curls for hair walking over and grabbing his hand. Dorcas meadows grins, her brown eyes full of mirth as she says, "Marlene bet me that you wouldn't dance with me."

"How much?" Sirius wonders, grinning when the witch laughs and pulls him in to a hug. They sway back and forth on the balls of their feet, hardly dancing. But it's enough. Sirius chuckles, "You used to not even be able to look at us, Dorcas."

"You and the boys?" She questions, leaning back to see his smirk. She rolls her eyes and replies cheekily, "The Kings of Hogwarts fluster just about anyone. Though I've only ever really like Remus."

Sirius laughs and nods. He hesitates for a brief moment, the music ringing in his ears as he ponders something he hadn't been able to ask anyone. But Dorcas would understand.

"Aren't you scared?" He wonders solemnly. "Scared for her?"

Dorcas smiles kindly, her grip on his arms tightening. She's silent, formulating her response. And Sirius for the first time realizes just how deeply Dorcas Meadows' love for Gwenyth Whitlock runs.

The Ravenclaw finally speaks, replying honestly, "I've been scared since I met her, Sirius."

He nods his head a little. Maybe he'd been scared this whole time too, he just didn't realize it until he couldn't hold the Veela in his arms.

Dorcas sighs and says quietly, "There are some people that are just too...the world isn't strong enough to hold them. And I've worried every day that Gwen is so bright, so brilliant that the world can't carry her."

His throat grows tight at her words, his breaths shallower. She was right, though Ravenclaws usually were. At least the Ravenclaws that Sirius knew.

"But then I think," Dorcas starts, and Sirius' breathing becomes easier. "That the world can't exist without people like her. I think we would all simply cease to exist. Trust me, Sirius. We would know if she wasn't alright. The world would tell us."

Sirius blinks at her, his lips slowly twitching into a faint smile. Dorcas just grins, flushing at the marauder's attention. She shrugs and teases, "It's not like Gwen wouldn't know everything that could happen to her. Always scheming, that one. She would have made a good Marauder."

Sirius laughs, emotional and free and loud all at once. Dorcas has eased the panic he'd been feeling for weeks, her friendship with the Veela reassuring him that yes, she would be okay. She had to be okay. Because Dorcas was right. If Gwen was no longer amongst the living, the world would mourn. Not just the people, but the ghosts and the portraits. The ocean. Her beach would mourn her. And Sirius would know. He would know.

He spins Dorcas into Marlene's arms, earning a wink from the Scottish witch that nearly makes him laugh again. Looking around his friends dancing and celebrating in the Potters garden leaves a warm bubbly feeling in his chest. He slowly makes his way to the kitchen door, nicking a glass of champagne along the way. One more couldn't hurt.

The darkness of the house leaves him feeling significantly sadder. He wasn't panicked anymore, his anxiety had eased enough for him to fully inflate his lungs. But he was sad. Because Gwenyth should be here for this. She should be here always.

The walk up the stairs is slow, the house quiet except for the sounds of his shoes on the creaking wood. When he gets to the first landing, he peers at the door to James' room. He'd been staying there again, sleeping in the twin bed he'd grown used to after moving in with the Potters. But this time he's drawn to the guest room. He hadn't been in there since she'd left. But he was feeling better, stronger.

He reaches out and gently grasps the metal doorknob, his chest hollow as he twists it. When he steps in the room he's instantly flooded by a familiar scent. Jasmine.

But that's not what stops him dead in his tracks.

Perched on the footboard of the bed, bathed in moonlight, is Gwenyth Whitlock. Looking as if she'd never left.

He stares in disbelief, his hands falling to his sides as he soaks her in. Her pale eyes glow in the dim light, her pearly hair tied back neatly and showing off her tanned face. Her lips twitch into a faint smile, and then she says it, the words that Sirius had grown so accustomed to, so attached to.

"There you are."

{{just wait till I kill her off. JUST KIDDING! Sorry—I'm mentally unstable.}}