Depression/ anxiety one shots

Whenever , Wherever . Sh tw ⚠️

There's this guy I go to school with . We don't really get along that well and sometimes he can be a little mean . It's not bullying per say , but it definitely hurts sometimes, not badly enough to hurt myself though . I have other things that trump his taunts . My parents are alright I guess , and it's not like I have a bad home life , I just really hate myself. Sure I have had friends hurt me enough to hurt myself but usually it's all my fault . I just know I'll never amount to anything because I have no ambition or motivation to do anything. I'm a disappointment to everyone. And these are the thoughts that led me to today .

" Mrs Johnson, can I use the restroom please ?" I asked my 6th period teacher .

She said yes and I left the classroom, the hallway, and the building, until I got outside. I just couldn't be in there anymore and pretend to be okay . I walked behind the building by the bleachers and slunk against the wall . I put in my headphones and let myself sit there and cry . After about 20 minutes I began to have bad urges to , well you know what, so I dug into my backpack to find what I needed.

Riley Pov:

Zoe sits next to me in 6th period so I noticed when she hadn't come back after 20 minutes. I decided to go and look for her so I could rat her out to Mrs Johnson.

" Mrs Johnson?" I said raising my hand . " Could I go up to the office for a second? My dad stopped by to give me my pain meds for my shoulder I hurt at the game last night ."

" Sure , just try and be quick okay ." She said .

Man, she's so gullible. Anyway , I left the classroom and began to look for Zoe.

Zoe pov:

As I dragged the blade over my skin I felt myself loosen up . My tears subsided a little but I wanted them gone so I did it again , and again , and 3 more times until I felt euphoric. I reached over to put the blade back in my backpack when I heard a voice .

" So this is where you've been . Just wait until Mrs. Johnson hears about this ." Riley said laughing .

I froze and didn't turn my head to look at him like he expected I would.

" Look at me idiot. Are you like stupid or something? Is that why you had to leave class ? Too dumb to understand the material?" He said laughing even harder .

I just wanted him to stop so I turned my face towards him without turning my body , so he wouldn't see my arm.

" What do you want Riley?" I asked .

" Um are you okay?" Riley asked and his whole demeanor changed when he saw the black lines of mascara down my cheeks.

" I'm fine Riley . You can leave now . Go get me in trouble or whatever. I really done even care ." I said in a dull voice.

" If you say so ." He said and began to walk away .

He turned back to look at me as he was walking away and that's when he noticed the blood. He came running back up behind me and grabbed my arm.

" Zoe , what have you done." He said yelling at me . " Is this because of me ?" " I'm so sorry . I had no idea."

" Don't flatter yourself. This isn't your fault . I just hate myself and I'm depressed, that's all." I said yanking my bloody arm out of his grasp. " Do you mind leaving now so I can clean up this mess . Also tell Mrs Johnson if you really want but at least give me like 5 minutes to put myself back together so she doesn't ask any questions."

He stared back at me with a look like I'd just killed someone or something.

" You good?" I asked .

" Am I good ? You cannot be serious right now.How are you so chill right now ? You seriously need help , this is so bad Zoe. You have to be able to see that. Don't you see that?" Riley rambled out.

" I'm chill because I'm currently riding the high . Try not to ruin it for me . It only lasts like an hour, so bug me after that I guess." I say and began to walk off.

He grabbed my other arm and said , " Wait. I won't bug you about it but at least just let me help clean your arm up okay . Let's go in the gym bathrooms . Nobody will be in there until practice after school."

I really just wanted to start walking home but gave in because I knew he wouldn't drop it . I followed him to the bathroom and he lifted me onto the counter top.

" Why are you doing this?" I asked confused because this isn't the relationship we have.

" My older sister used to do what you do Zoe . She'd never take care of herself after though apparently and one time she got an infection. It was really bad and she was in the hospital for a week. It really scared me and I promised myself I'd never see someone in that position again." Riley said while wiping the blood off my arm with a soapy paper towel.

" Oh." I said because I wasn't really sure what to say. " I'm glad your sister is okay."

" Thanks." He said smiling . " I'm gonna help make sure you are too. Wait here one second."

He got up and got something out of his gym locker. It was antibacterial spray , neosporin, and bandages.

" You have all of this with you ?" I asked , once again confused .

" Yeah , unfortunately you aren't the first person here I've cleaned up . One of my friends needed this a couple months back and I just had to use soap and water because I didn't have it . So I bought stuff for what I hoped wouldn't be a next time." He said . " Now this might sting but I'm going to spray this on your arm okay?"

I nodded and he sprayed it all over , making sure each cut was clean. He then applied the neosporin and started wrapping my arm in gauze and bandages. He helped me down off the counter .

" Gimme your phone." He said .

" Why?" I asked him.

" Because I'm putting my number in it . We don't have to be friends if you don't want , but please call me when you need me . I'll be there before to prevent you from doing it , or after if you need someone to clean you up . Whatever you need , just call. I do care and I'm sorry for being mean before . I just want you to be okay Zoe . Riley said and he handed me my phone back . " Talk to you later , gotta go lie to Mrs Johnson." He said laughing a little and waving as he ran out the door.

I looked down at my phone and saw he wrote something in the notes section under his number .

" I mean it . Whenever, wherever. I'll be there , just call Zoe."

I smiled a little knowing someone cared and began my walk home.